Forum Replies Created
April 3, 2013 at 12:17 pm in reply to: One small act of kindness… #30293
I love this thread–and I love that Starbucks story! One of my favorite forms of kindness is to give compliments. It’s such an easy thing to do, whether it’s someone you know or a stranger. I compliment people on physical things (clothes, hair, laptop bag, etc) all the time, because you can easily do that even if you’re not already engaged in conversation, and I also like to compliment people when they’re doing a great job at whatever it is they do. I think people don’t often receive genuine compliments on their work/service, and it always lifts their spirits when someone takes the time to appreciate their efforts!April 3, 2013 at 12:06 pm in reply to: Discovering The Good Stuff #30291
Great question Amyra! I definitely noticed this was true for me. Dealing with uncomfortable feelings was the hardest thing for me when I first started recovering from my eating disorder. I always wanted to *do* something with my feelings–in other words, avoid just feeling them.
But it’s like the saying goes: the only way out is through. In coming face to face with the void, I learned a lot about what hurt me, why, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do in life. I also learned that two things caused most of my suffering: the belief that there was something wrong with me, and the fear that other people would see it and reject me.
In releasing these beliefs, I feel less of a need to run from my feelings, because they no longer stem from a deep fear of inferiority. And they no longer make me feel powerless. That’s not to say they don’t hurt; it’s just that I now realize I can work through them. Feeling them won’t break me because I no longer feel so broken.April 3, 2013 at 11:48 am in reply to: Brainwaves entrainment for sleeping #30277
I actually haven’t heard of brainwaves entertainment before, but I’m intrigued! Are there any links you’d recommend I check out?April 3, 2013 at 11:20 am in reply to: Living with a Chronic Illness #30262
This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately because my sister has interstitial cystitis (a bladder disease) and she recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I know it’s really hard for her, both because of the symptoms, and because other people can’t see them. I think it’s wonderful to aim for positivity and gratitude, but like you said, it’s not always easy, and you definitely deserve to be gentle with yourself if some days are harder than others. I know I want that for my sister!April 3, 2013 at 11:10 am in reply to: Quelling Loneliness #30261
I find when I feel lonely, it’s usually because I’m withholding my true self in my encounters. It’s less about being alone literally and more about feeling that I’m not really being seen. For example, the loneliest time in my life was when I lived in NYC–and I was surrounded by people. As soon as I engage with someone about something that really matters to me, I start feeling more connected and less isolated!April 3, 2013 at 11:01 am in reply to: When to walk away #30256
Hi Eleanor and Hannah!
I haven’t had a situation where I felt like I had to completely end a relationship with a family member, but I’ve had different times when I realized it was best to create distance and change my relationship–at least in the short-term. It’s definitely wasn’t easy, and I went through many periods when I grieved over what I never had or had to change. But I knew that I could never take care of myself if I didn’t step away from unhealthy relationships and situations.
I also found that creating space without towing a hard line helped a great deal. In other words, I never had a conversation along the lines of, “Don’t call me ever again!” I simply changed how and how often I engaged with those people. By doing that, I kept the door open for things to improve–and over time, they did.
Sending love to you both,
LoriApril 3, 2013 at 10:42 am in reply to: Overcoming anxiety #30247
I’ve realized the same thing Louise! Yoga has been very helpful for me, and it also helps to engage with the world around me and allow myself to have fun. Whenever I shift my focus from what might not happen tomorrow to what I can enjoy today, I feel a sense of relief.April 3, 2013 at 10:38 am in reply to: Beautiful Flowers from the Same Garden #30244
I love this idea! I think most religions revolve around the same basic principles. It occurred to me when I was younger that I followed the specific religion I did because that’s what I was born into. If I had born into a family with a different faith, I would have believed in that. Since faith implies not knowing, I think all we can ever know for sure is that we want to uphold those core ideas that most religions have in common: love, forgiveness, and kindness, to name a few–and that implies not merely tolerating but actually embracing people of other faiths.