Hi Caitlin-Joyce. Like Tom, I’m not a parent, but I thought I’d chime in as well. I can see why they’d be worried for you and protective of you, and I get how it’s tough for him to redeem himself in their eyes because of the distance. Perhaps it might help to tell your parents you can see things from their side–that you can understand why they’d be concerned, and that you appreciate that they’re looking out for you. Then you can let them know that you’re aware that the future could repeat itself, but if that happens, you’ll deal with it then and learn from the experience.

The other day, I actually read an old journal of mine from around the time when I was 22. I wrote about how my parents were unhappy with my dating choices (I was doing a lot of online dating) and how I wished they’d let me make my own mistakes, if they turned out to be mistakes. I bet if you let your parents know that you’re not going into this blind, but rather taking a chance with awareness of the potential consequences, they’d be more open-minded and supportive. They’d be know you’re a mature adult making an aware decision.

Of course, I hope history doesn’t repeat itself and that there are no more tears to wipe away!

I enjoy writing in my journal first thing in the morning, right near a window, when it’s quiet and I’ve yet to get into the day. As for blogging or writing something that I know will be published, it really depends on when I’ll be able to focus best. As long as I’m in a space where I feel comfortable and free from distractions, I’m good to go!

I know what you mean Amy. It can be really disheartening to see the things people say and write, particularly when the anonymity of the web provides an easy outlet for bitterness.

I read somewhere once that “hurt people, hurt people,” and I think there’s truth to that. I have to imagine that someone who sits around writing horrible things about other people has to be in a very low place. It doesn’t condone it, but it provides some type of explanation for where that type of maliciousness comes from.

I love what you wrote at the end. It’s true! There will always be people out there who devote more energy to being hurtful than helpful; but on the flip side, there will always be others who care and show it–as you’re doing right now.

I’m glad we’re connected, and I’m sending good thoughts your way. 🙂

• This reply was modified 11 years ago by Lori Deschene.

Great question! For me, I’ve found that work feels more purposeful when it’s aligned with my personal values and priorities. When I worked in mobile marketing, I had a lot fun on the job, since travel was a big part of it and I was frequently in new environments, but it didn’t connect with anything that mattered to me on a personal level. I don’t travel for work now, but it’s much more personally fulfilling because I’m immersed in a world where people share their feelings, lessons, and insights. Growth and authentic connection are huge priorities for me, so this type of work naturally feels more meaningful.

I don’t know what I believe there. I want to believe we are more than our bodies, but I’m someone who needs proof to believe anything, and the only thing I know for certain is that I do not know. Is there anything particular that makes you believe we are more than our physical bodies?

I think it’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I don’t want to sit around stewing in regrets, as in, “I should have done that. If only I’d done that.” I don’t want to obsess about other choices I could have or should have made. But I also want to learn from things I could have done differently.

So for me personally, there are two different regrets. The one I want to avoid is the one that binds me to the past and paralyzes me in the present. The one I embrace is the kind whereby I accept I made a poor choice, and empower myself to learn from that to make better choices going forward.

Great question!

Hi Jeanine! It sounds like you really approached your break-up in a healthy way, taking time for yourself and then slowly opening up to the idea of a new relationship. After a break-up in college, I refused to do the first part. We’d been together for three years, and I felt this need to replace the relationship to avoid feeling the massive void.

I “searched” for a long time and never truly embraced being single. As a result, I stayed single for almost a decade. I dated a lot, but it was never right, because I wasn’t in the right headspace. As soon I fully embraced that it was better to be single than to be in a relationship for the sake of it, I started meeting people who seemed more compatible.

In other words, as soon as I stopped looking, I started finding. It’s crazy how a shift in mindset can do that.

I think if you feel you’re ready, and you put yourself out there from that healthy place of security with yourself (not the place of lack I operated from), you’ll start meeting compatible people in no time!