So I’m thinking that I’m holding onto this one person because I think that they are the person I’ve waited for my entire life, and I’m too scared to let go, because I don’t want to lose them. But what if I’m blocking something else happening because of my tunnel vision? Or, what if he is “The One”, but me holding onto him is making things difficult and if I were to let go, things might be able to progress more naturally and we even might end up together?

I am right smack in this same situation. I think, in my case, that I think too much and I try to control WAY too much.

I’ve also been thorough Big Blue’s “all or nothing” approach. I finally realized that the reason I felt “nothing” was in order was because not having what *I* wanted/ expected in the relationship hurt too much. I was scared to accept what was in front of me and to just let things flow naturally.

It’s a hard lesson to learn and one I’m still working on.

Lady, you have to stop making all the effort. If there’s anything I wish I had done differently in the past, this is it. If he wants to see you, let HIM make the drive. If he wants to talk, let HIM make the calls/texts. If you don’t hear from him, it wasn’t meant to be.

Oh, all the broken hearts I could have avoided over the years if only I hadn’t pursued.

Also, there is a book. Why Men Love Bitches. Yeah, I rolled my eyes at the title, too, but it was given to me by a forward-thinking, feminist friend who I trust. Such good advice! All about focusing on yourself, making yourself happy, and not kowtowing to men. She read it after a bad breakup, applied the advice in her life and has now been with her current boyfriend (who dotes on her like crazy) for five years and just had a baby boy.