Thank you, Inky and i_like_advice! Your comments were much appreciated 🙂

We have spoken and both want to move past the situation and continue our relationship, which is normally so wonderful and makes us both really happy.

He has now expressed that he wants to gradually remove Heather from his life as a friend, they will always be acquainted as they have many mutual friends back from when they were at university together. I told him that if he wants to take such measures, he can’t be doing so for me, as this may cause resentment later on but he is insisting it is for both of us and that this has been a long time coming, even before him and I were in a relationship.

I have apologised for invading his privacy and understand that I should have communicated with him before snooping. Although he understands why I did so, he is still hurt and claims he doesn’t really trust me with his phone right now but he will get over it – personally I don’t see what I did as a ‘betrayal of his trust’ as I had reason to do so, a reason I had communicated to him several times before I did so and if he went through my phone, I wouldn’t care anywhere near as much as he happens to care.

However, everyone is different and reacts differently to different things, I guess.

I won’t be confronting her, I don’t think I should be in contact with her as she shouldn’t know that she bothered me this much, I feel like she would enjoy that. Therefore, if she is out with the rest of his friends and we bump into her, I will act cordial and conduct myself with dignity as I have finally realised, she is irrelevant.

Correction: *how my actions proved that I never loved him.

Hi Mamie,

Thank you for your response!!

UPDATE: He went on a date yesterday with a girl – he kept telling me he didn’t want to go and that she initiated it – so when I asked him how it went today, he said that he doesn’t trust her but he will go on a second date with her – he hasn’t been on a second date with a girl in about two years.

Now I’m even more confused!

Thank you SO much to ALL who posted on here!!!

Each and every message was so kind and supportive and I almost teared up because I was overwhelmed by these wonderful messages, thank you!
I would normally have left my things, however, one of them was a book he borrowed from my university library and if you have library fines by the end of the academic year, you can’t graduate so I needed that as I intend to graduate this year! And the other thing was my old iPhone 5 which I lent him when his one broke. I now intend to sell it!

I feel a lot more positive about everything today, largely due to these supportive posts. I believe everything happens for a reason and perhaps yesterday’s altercation was meant to happen to show me who he really is and that I am much better off. I’m going to take some time and appreciate myself more.

Again, thank you to those who posted, you brightened up my day! God bless.

A little update on the situation:

In the original post I stated that I am friends with his sister who backed my corner on a lot of what went wrong pre and post break up. I understand that he’s still her brother but she stated that she still wanted to maintain a friendship with me despite what had happened and we’ve kept in contact since.
Since he has some important items of mine, I was counting on his sister to return them to me, which she said she would. However, I can now see she has blocked me on WhatsApp despite us only having spoken on there on Friday (talking about how we should meet up soon!). I have text her since asking how she is and the message delivered but I have not received a reply.
There was no animosity between us and I can’t understand why she would just block me out of the blue, especially when my items are yet to be returned. I would have expected at least a text explaining why? Not just a random block and no contact, as I suspect her brother has asked her to maintain no contact with me…but what about my things?
What do you suggest I do?

Thank you for your reply Inky!

Perhaps so, sounds about right. Although I also believe that now he’s had me, his egotistical mind will think he can get anybody he wants.

I’ll keep working on myself in the meantime!