Hello Trevor – most people have some sort of resentment toward their parents, it’s one of those almost inevitable trials of life. If you don’t mind my saying, you seem to be a little preoccupied with how you ‘appear’. Perhaps you need to stop caring what other people think, including your parents – and just be yourself, whatever that is. Forgive yourself for having conditioning – we all do. We are all shaped by our parents and upbringing. Whether we go along with it or reject it – we are all reacting to it somehow and mostly in subconscious ways. You seem to be fighting yourself, not your parents. Maybe you just need to accept yourself as you are and then work on overcoming any hang-ups with an understanding partner.

Lucy

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by lucyb.

“But in our culture, you sort of have to go out and get these things or accept what gets handed to you which may not be very pretty.”

Opportunities present themselves if you’re on the lookout & open to them – I think our culture is restrictive in that it teaches us we have to fight for stuff and i don’t believe that’s how things work. But here’s something that popped up when i got a broken link on this site and I thought of you:

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/making-your-passion-your-career-despite-the-naysayers/

Also you might like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/014311459X?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by lucyb.

Hello there – of course you’re not a fool. You are a trusting person and thought you had found some happiness. It sounds like he has been lying to you and his wife, doesn’t it. This must hurt you very much and it’s probably no consolation but I generally find people do such things to help themselves & not to hurt others. I’m sure he thought as much of you as you think of him but living a lie usually ends in heartbreak & I expect he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Unfortunately you have been badly stung here & left with so many questions along with a gap in your life. I doubt anything anyone says will help – only time will heal (another cliche but a true one). DOn’t be afraid that you won’t feel close to anyone else – try to trust in your ability to heal & get stronger.

Lucy

Hello Bill, I think you should stop ‘struggling’ and ‘striving’ and see where life takes you. Sometimes by letting go you get where you need to be. I know this is easier said than done. Maybe concentrate on what you have & not on what you don’t have – open yourself to receiving what you need, which might not be what you think you want. Don’t complicate it with strategies or intellectualising – try to take it easy & be at peace. The class system, btw, is a construct of society and has no bearing on anything unless you let it – you can rise above it. Many of the most influential people in history were dirt-poor money-wise but very wealthy in other ways.

For inspiration in holding to your inner light, you could read ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Viktor E. Frankl.

I hope you find what you need,

Lucy