hi britt, I have also just split up from my ex, and its been about two weeks of no contact. we split up a couple of months ago but we were still in the same place as I waited for my new place to be ready for me and I remember getting upset with him that he was showing off how happy life is and how he was enjoying himself, but then a few days later he would confess that he was feeling just as hurt as I was feeling, and I think its true. he just coped with the loss in his own way and he’s was coping and recovering in his own way and now that we’re not together anymore it really doesn’t matter how he’s choosing to move on in his life. I think its hard to take, but really he is no longer in a position to hurt me anymore, so it really is a new mindset, letting him go, giving him my blessing to be who he is and focusing on myself to make my own choices to heal myself and enjoy my life, not to hurt him or get back at him, but really because I am trying to move on in the best way for me. hope this is helpful 🙂

hi Christina, I relate to your story as well. I have just split up from my ex-husband (again) so it has been a difficult couple of years for me. I have again felt like I was at the lowest point in my life over the last couple of months as we were in the same house for 2 months until I could move out. this has been a difficult year for me.

I remember feeling totally stuck back in February, I couldn’t fix anything wrong in my life, couldn’t find new friends, couldn’t get my current friends to go out with me, I felt lost and out of control. but I then realised that I just had to start with something, so I made contact with someone I used to go running with and we met up, it didn’t work out but then I joined a local running club, that hasn’t worked out either in the end so I then joined a dance/yoga class and i’m loving it! it gets me through the week.

I don’t have a lot of good friends, but a few acquaintances that I meet up with once in a while. I am still working on that point, I’ve never been one for many friends. i’m trying to be understanding with myself that I have just been in a long term relationship and it takes time. but I am trying to spend my alone time appreciating myself and doing the things that I enjoy doing and its a nice feeling sitting on my armchair feeling content about the simple pleasure of just being. I still wake up feeling panicky or angry, but its just a process that though it sounds cliché, it gets better with time. I hope this is helpful, I wish you well.

hi tinymoon, i want to be able to offer you some advice and support as i feel like i understand a bit of what you’re going through. i also moved to the uk in my early 20s and tried to pursue my passion which in the end didn’t work out and I’ve struggled so much with insecurity, indecision, procrastination, every negative emotion and its been so difficult. but all i can say is what’s helped me through is to just keep surviving for now, anything to get you up in the morning (as long as it doesn’t hurt you or others) and finding even one small positive thing in your day to cling onto, and in time you will find something to live for again and many things to be positive about. I say this as ive found myself alone and lost like I never felt before (as if ive been dropped in the middle of the ocean without the ability to swim) but after a period of time of surviving I found a natural rhythm and felt so much better and even happy.

what i like to tell myself: ‘when it feels like i dont know what to do with my life and i won’t go anywhere or achieve anything just remember small steps, anything to keep going is good and all you can do until something clicks’

i wish you well and happiness