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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 33 total)
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  • September 19, 2015 at 10:57 pm in reply to: personal blogs #83657
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi James.

    I read your post and when I saw the title I thought this must be some karmic intervention. For long years I battled with weight and I am now in the process of finally conquering it. And while I battled it I became quite the expert at it. 🙂

    I would say your post is really good. Very solid advice. I would like to propose to you that you talk more about counting calories. It is really simple to do this and it is extremely effective for achieving your goals.

    I read all your other posts too. Just like I said I like your blog. I am sorry to say I dont really have any negative critisism. 🙂

    Your welcome and have a great day.

    Matic

    September 19, 2015 at 10:48 pm in reply to: Lost and Confused #83656
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi cb2015.

    There are many factors that can have influence in your situation so I hope you dont mind me asking soe questions.

    How long are you with this person? How old are you? How is your sex life? How much do you see each other? If you could just share more about your relationship and about you that would be great and really helpful for me so I can give you better advice and also when writing you might see the problem all of a sudden.

    Thanks and best of wishes.

    Matic

    September 19, 2015 at 4:41 am in reply to: personal blogs #83630
    Matic
    Participant

    Dear jng15.

    I went to your blog and I just wanted to leto you know I really like it, and it made my favourite blog list. 🙂

    Keep up the good work.

    Matic

    September 19, 2015 at 4:07 am in reply to: Still Single After Two Years #83629
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi love! (you chose your nickname yourself. I am not being a chauvenist! 🙂 )

    Before I share some advice I would appreciate if you tell me more about yourself. What are you doing about bettering yourself? What are your passions? What are your strenghts, your weekneses?

    Thank you!

    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 10:21 pm in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83484
    Matic
    Participant

    Anita, thank you for that insight. I have never looked at it from that angle. 🙂

    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 8:47 am in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83447
    Matic
    Participant

    Dear Anita!

    Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to hear such words from such people as yourself and Inky.

    I think I am forced to agree on this with you. But I have no worries because of this. This was an experience just like any other and I will try to get as much out of it as I can in terms of personal growth. Already through this experience and an unrelated and non-sexual argument with another friend, I discovered that I take everything very personally. I tend to identify with peoples negative opinions or negative behaviour when directed at me, while I tend to brush aside positive attitude. Do not misunderstand. I love myself very much and I have high confidence, but this self love is only very recent (couple of months or less) so I suspect I will face a few setbacks in this area until self love really is natural to me and when it trully becomes my modus operandi.

    Also I discovered that when people have negative attitude towards you should not blame yourself. All you can do is control how you behave. You may never understand the motives behind someones actiones so all you can do is be as kind, understanding and compassionate towards your fellow humans and forgive them their behaviour. You then control the situation by either trully accepting that person as he is or distancing yourself from him.

    I am sorry if I went a little off topic here but I wanted to take the chance and share what I discovered about myself and maybe it will help someone who is in a similar “pickle”!

    Thanks again!

    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 5:41 am in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83442
    Matic
    Participant

    Thanks for this post Inky. I really appreciate your words of encouragment and I shall take them as an omen of future great things to come! 🙂

    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 4:12 am in reply to: 3 and a half months and still not coping. Please help. #83435
    Matic
    Participant

    In light of your recent post I would like to add this. I think that when you confront him about this, you can also tell her sister. The problem would be if you told her but not him. This would shift all of the weight you carry on your shoulders to her shoulders which would be unfair.

    So I give you my blessing! 😀

    I hope everything works out for the best!

    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 3:06 am in reply to: Trust issues or am I right to confront him? #83432
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi TheDaydreamer!

    I will be totally honest, as I think you wish I am!

    There are many red flags if you ask me. Some more orangy and some bright red.

    The orangy ones are the lying. I think he lied to you because in his mind the thing which he lied about is not a big thing while he knew to you it will be a huge thing. But lying is still not ok. About the lying and this stuff I will post a link to a video that might proof helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOy4cFzWz1Q

    Ok. For me the really bright red flag is the reward thing. It is flirty and in my mind that is not ok. If it is ok with you that is entirely up to your standards. It does not necesarilly mean there is something really up, but what it definetely means is there have been some thoughts about it. It is normal to feel atraction to other people but there is a line. The line, in my mind, is crossed when you act on it in any way. If you cannot be totally platonic especially with your ex then staying friends is a really stupid idea and it is made even stupider if it jeoperdizes the current relationship you are in as in your case.

    I suggest that you confront him. You also made a mistake with your snooping and you should be held accountable for your mistake. This is how it is in life. When you keep yourself accountable you grow and you better yourself by doing the right thing. The perfect example of this is weight resistance training. Anyways… Confront him. Decide beforehand what your standards about the while thing are and enforce them. You should not undervalue yourself. But also be reasonable. You should not build an unsustainable situation by telling him he should not see his ex anymore. This is bad practice and it never works out. I think the video pretty much sums it up.

    Hope your situation is resolved in a positive manner.

    Have a great day.
    Matic

    September 16, 2015 at 2:38 am in reply to: 3 and a half months and still not coping. Please help. #83430
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi Melissa.

    I went through a similar situation but I wont get into it because the details are not relevant. Just wanted to tell you this so you know my advice is first hand.

    Firstly, dont tell his sister. Talking should happen beetwen you and your ex if any talking happens at all.

    When I found out my ex cheated on me, I was devestated. I wasnt really considering her feelings as Lori suggests when I confronted her on it. I dont think you should focus on his feeling all that much. He clearly was not very worried about yours so why should you give him a free pass. As I write this, my previous sentences read suspiciusly like revenge but it is definetely not about that. What I want to say is you should first and foremost consider your own feelings and only then the feelings of others in situations when your own sanity is in jeopardy.

    So my opinion is you should confront him. You should keep in mind that there are many scenarios that are possible when this happens. There are favourable ones which leave you instantly with peace of mind and there are scenarios where he is cold and distant and that might hurt you even more. If you want to confront him you should be prepared to face all these scenarios meaning that you have to be prepared to relieve the intense feelings of your break up and realize that whatever his reaction is you will have closure.

    What I am very elaboratelly trying to say and failing at it is that you have to realize you have two options.

    1. Not confronting him and be prepared to possibly live with these feelings for a long time and possibly harm future relationships with you wounds from this relationship
    2. Confront him, get to know the truth behind why he did this, and learn to trully understand his feelings. This might be really painful in short term but I am sure it will give you peace of mind in the long haul.

    I can give you how this went down with my ex and maybe you will better understand what I am aiming at.
    We have decided that we need a week to sort things out and to try to figure out what we want. After about a day she texted me we were over. While I was also leaning in that direction this swept me off my feet. My thinking was: “How can she throw away 4 years in just 1 day!” I knew something fishy was up so when I saw her when we exchanged some stuff I asked her how could she decide so quickly. She told me that she kissed a friend who I knew that she had a thing for when we were together but she never admited it. So we had a conversation about it. It was very calm and understanding and the point was: The relationship with me was not for good her and she just needed that little push which materialized as that kiss. I am not kidding, when I say I completely understood what she was saying and I was at peace.

    Sure, my story is my story and you might not have peace of mind right away, but I can promise you that if what he says is the honest to God truth and you really try to understand his thinking I am a 100% sure that it will eventually give you a truer peace of mind then I if you just try to let it go just by yourself.

    I hope I made some sense. English is not my first language and my thoughts are annoyingly incoherent in my native language. 🙂

    I wish you only the best!
    Matic

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Matic.
    September 15, 2015 at 11:59 pm in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83428
    Matic
    Participant

    Hi again!

    So I guess I have an update for you just as some of you asked. 🙂

    Yesterday I saw this girl again. I offered to help her with some of her work on her Masters degree so we met up yesterday.
    She was just plain weird from my point of view. We talked and I asked a lot of questions. Some were very general and some were more in depth because I am trying to get to know this person. She did answer the questions but never asked anything back. So I was just quiet from that point on because these kinds of conversations are very emotionally draining for me. So to break the silence she eventually did ask some questions but they were very general. Essentialy she put no effort to get to know me and it kind of frustrated me.

    I guess the frustration part comes from the change of attitude that came literally over night. I now know that she does not see me in a romantic way and that is okay because her attitude really turned me off and I also dont see her in that sort of light anymore. I guess I just dont understand what happened here and I dont really like to be ignorant about stuff, but I just have to accept I cant always understand what happens in peoples minds.

    Thanks for reading again and I am sorry if the post is a little incoherent. I cant really help it, because my mind is also a little incoherent about what happened.

    Have a great day.
    Matic

    September 14, 2015 at 10:30 am in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83321
    Matic
    Participant

    Anita thanks. I always like to read your posts because they are so insightful and you always want to know more about a situation so you can really give the person some quality advice. I appreciate that. I will keep your future post comment in my head. I hope they I will be giving advice in them and not receiving it.

    Thanks again.
    Matic

    September 14, 2015 at 4:36 am in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83306
    Matic
    Participant

    Thanks guys for the support. I definetely intend to honor the agreement. I deserve someone who I dont have to fight for at the very begining. I know that love is a lot of work as I have been in a long term committed relationship before but I do not think I should persuade someone to like me. I will hang out with her, be friendly, lend a hand if she needs it and will keep my ears open if she decides I am the one she wants to confess in but I will definetely not be pushing for a relationship. The ball is in her court.

    When me and my now ex broke up a while ago I read a lot about the human psyche when it comes to love so I know the last thing I should do is to obsess about her. There are a lot of quality girls out there and because I am a quality man myself I am sure love is bound to happen to me eventualy. Therefore I refuse to put this girl on a pedestal. I am also quite happily single so if I just do my own thing and keep living life to the fullest everything will turn out for the best.

    Thanks for supporting me. I trully am thankful. 🙂

    I will keep you posted on future developements if there are any. I will be seeing this girl quite a lot this week so things will probably get a little clearer.

    September 13, 2015 at 5:46 am in reply to: Should I continue to pursue #83231
    Matic
    Participant

    Thanks for your advice. There is still a month and a half until she goes away so I think I will take your advice and just hang out with here and we will see how things progress. 🙂

    Thanks for the good wishes.

    Have a great day!

    Matic

    August 19, 2015 at 11:59 pm in reply to: Am I just wasting my time? #82093
    Matic
    Participant

    I am 21 so my opinion on your music is relevant I guess. I also guess you want for me totally honest so that is what I will be.
    I think you have some very real talent. I like your style very much. I love the melody. What I dont like so much is the way I hear your voice. It is like you are singing in a cave or something. I cant really put my finger on it. I dont know if that is intentional or if it is a microphone issue but I would like for your voice to be more crisp. Just my opinion. Overall a very good song. I actually listened to it more than once and in the end I just decided to download it and save my browser some trouble.

    Good luck with your dreams. You should hold on to them.
    Matic

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Matic.
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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 33 total)
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