Hi birdyy

I think you may have come to a point in your relationship when you are at a cross-roads when you want to go one way and he wants to go another. But as there is an attachment of four years still there between the two of you, it seems sad to let that go. I know. I’ve been there.
I stayed in a yo-yo relationship, which was not physically abusive, but it was an emotional drain.
I was the one who always initiated the meet-ups and the hang-outs as well as the walk-outs. I always thought that if he initiated the walk-out then it would be better.
But I was making excuses to just stay another day with my attachment.

I wondered a lot about what I wanted out of life. I also knew that a trouble spots in a relationship doesn’t mean it has to be the end. Sometimes things work out.

But on this occasion, in my life, when I really looked inwards and asked myself if this was what I wanted. I realized it wasn’t. I let the attachment go and watch it float away like a balloon.
I said thank you for the good times in my mind. I smiled at the moments that made me happy, and forgave the moments that made me sad. Forgiveness is not accepting, it is telling yourself that you won’t allow yourself to feel that way again.

Finally I cut the string of that yo-yo and I allowed myself to fall to the ground. Then picked myself up, brushed myself down and walked into the next episode of my life.

I am married now. I don’t even live in the same country anymore. I am now living my dream.

Things work out, if you allow yourself to be happy.
May you find that happiness.