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August 15, 2014 at 11:36 am #63456
JonnyParticipantSue,
I have known many people who have been charged with a DUI, including two members of my own family. My uncle and my grandfather were both drunk drivers who had multiple DUI’s. My grandfather lost his life in a car accident, but my uncle; I believe that the crippling shame made it worse for him. Not only was he a drinker but also a drug abuser and he lost his wife and kids through divorce. I don’t believe that there was any going back after he had lost that much. So think about how much you’ve lost, but more importantly think about how much you still have.
My friend and previous co-worker has succeeded in getting past the setbacks of a DUI. He has worked in fast-food restaurants, car-wash places. Although they are low-paying jobs, any bit helps. As long as you know that you’ve learned from your mistake, give yourself another chance. Think positively about what is here in the now, not what you have lost in the past. Things can get better the moment you start looking up.
I hope all goes well,
JonnyAugust 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm #63379JonnyParticipantIt’s a good thing to start looking at the positives. Especially when it seems hard to find FIVE things. I bet I could make a list of a hundred things I don’t like about myself easily. But looking at the other side (what you have; instead of what you don’t have) is a lot more helpful. Let’s try it out:
1. I am extremely musical and proud of it. I have a rare gift called Perfect Pitch that allows me to distinguish and replicate pitches without having to hear them. I am also proficient with my voice and many different instruments. One day I hope to either be a music teacher or be heard on the radio.
2. By nature I am a kind and gentle person. For all the negative feelings I have; I could never irrationally lash out at someone. I think that’s a good thing.
3. I am a deep thinker. I have thought about so many things. I definitely over-think a lot, but one thing I like about myself for sure is the amount of insight I can provide to something. My ADHD definitely allows me to see things in a well-rounded way.
4. I am imaginative. It helps me not limit myself to certain possibilities.
5. I love to make people smile. Whether it be through laughing, encouragement, or just saying “hello”. It makes me feel good.
June 29, 2014 at 12:26 pm #59855JonnyParticipantYou know… A lot of what you guys have said has really struck a chord for me. So thank you for that. It’s also good to know that there are people out there who can relate to me who aren’t just angry and bitter. Because I have found many people who were like that; the people I did drugs with, people I interacted with at the college, people at my old work. I would try to help them too. That’s how I would try and be a friend. I would help those who opened up to me. I would let them know it was okay to open up to me. I told them I wouldn’t judge. I thought that by reaching out and caring I would uphold those friendships for a long time. But there are only a few good friends who I have kept in contact with. And that’s okay. It’s better to have a few good true friends than a lot of fake ones.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.