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Nar

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Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)
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  • in reply to: Am I gay or am is this an intrusive though #373950
    Nar
    Participant

    Hi Tristan,

    Happy to be of any help. I am just starting my therapy, can’t comment on anything yet, just had an introductionary session only.

    My intrusive thoughts are not sexual in nature, but not any less disturbing. i can assure you it really bothers me too and I feel ashamed to talk about them to anyone. I havent told anyone apart from my therapist. They scare me. And just like in your case, they come in waves. There are periods when its gone for a while and its very quiet, but then out of nowhere it is there again. It is mainly in the form of strong images in my case.

    From my own meditations over this, if it is any assurance to you and myself probably, intrusive thoughts are called intrusive because they are unwelcome and unpleasant and usually something a thinker wouldn’t ever imagine doing. For example, there are cases of women who just gave birth having really disturbing thoughts of them doing something to their newborn babies, like hurting them in some way. Ofcourse they are not going to hurt their babies, usually these thoughts pop because they are really really scared of something happening to their child.

    I personally think behind these thoughts is deep fear. And instead of treating its effects, maybe it is best to face the fear. I’ll try CBT, and see if its helpful. but i know my thoughts are related to some fear that i don’t understand and can’t face yet.

    Also, none of these thoughts ever mean you are going to act on them. The whole reason why you are writing here is because you are scared of them and deeply disturbed by them. If a thinker is not disturbed by violent or sexual unwelcome thoughts, he would act on them, find them pleasant, even. You are disturbed and scared, and this says something about the nature of these thoughts. Just meditate over your reactions to them. How these thoughts make you feel and why they make you feel this way. Maybe the answer is there.

    in reply to: Unhealthy friendships #373916
    Nar
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Thank you so much for your reply.

    I opened my heart adequately to my close friends and these relationships are very good for me. My aim in getting to know this girl was firstly out of curiosity- she is kind of a person I wouldn’t normally meet in life or socialise with. Although I knew she was deeply troubled, I felt like i could handle it. And mostly I did handle her well. i think the problem was that i got attached to her. Also, I felt very sorry for her until i realised

    1)all the stories she tells me are purely her perspective on what happened

    2) she has a strong tendency to victimise herself and be a “martyr”. Kind of thinking -all this pain is happening to me for a reason, I love it, life is so harsh, but I am a fighter”. Whereas in reality, as an observer i saw actually and factually she is the one who causes herself so much pain as she lives in her head too much. and doesn’t want to break away from this cycle. All her problems are in her head, and not outside or in any external evil forces or people

     

    So what bothered me is that I saw all these things and couldn’t speak up. I didn’t know how to tell her these as over time i started caring about her and getting attached. i guess i wanted to open up my heard and that i did 🙂 now, the reason why i posted this is because i want to be able to have a way/strategy to remain open with people but at the same time not get so attached in an unhealthy way, but a healthy way. I was looking for an advice to build healthy friendships even with not always 100% stable people.

    in reply to: Am I gay or am is this an intrusive though #373915
    Nar
    Participant

    Hi Tristan,

    I have been having episodes of intrusive thoughts for 2 years now. It is having a much milder impact on my life and I think I had one or another form of OCD since I was a little kid. Washing hands obsessively, remuneration, getting stuck in thought loops. Im kind of used to it now and learnt to live with it. But  I signed up for a therapy, my therapist is recommending me to start CBT for me.

    I can tell from my experience that just knowing that a thought is just a thought and it comes and goes, not be impacted by it, is not always possible. I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like it is having a bad impact on your life and health, and I really recommend you sign up for a therapy.

    If you want to ask me anything, here to help!

Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)