It’s a fantasy. And that’s it. I think I speak for everyone here when I say a majority of people that masturbate think of other people or other situations outside of what they’re currently living and experiencing. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years with a man I love very much, but when I’m trying to get off, chances are I’m thinking about a celebrity or watching porn or letting my imagination take me to a sexual situation I’ve never experienced. They are just what they are, THOUGHTS. And they are yours and only yours. You definitely shouldn’t be feeling guilty as it is a natural part of human nature. I can guarantee when your boyfriend masturbates he thinks of something or someone other than you most times too. Take a deep breath, and enjoy that brain of yours.

With warmth,
Jennifer

I can relate to this unfortunately too well. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. He cheated on me with his kids mother because she was refusing to let him see his kids, unless she was getting the kind of attention she needed. (She’s overall a psycho). When the truth came out, it was devastating. We split up and went our separate ways, but after months of talking it out he gave his reasons and he knew he messed up big time. He answered all my questions and insecurities (I know this because some of it I didn’t care to hear, he didn’t sugar coat it). We got back together and he smartened up. He did everything and went above and beyond to show me that he wasn’t that kind of man. But down the road I let the insecurities eat me alive and it got to a point where I started to stray away myself and found myself sexually interested in other men. I thought to myself if I’m feeling like this, there is something wrong in our relationship. They were simply thoughts, I never put them into action.. it was more a “What if I’m missing out on something better” moment. I was honest with him about the thoughts and he didn’t take it well. To him, he knew he messed up but he also proved day in and day out he was different, better.. just for me to throw this at him. It damaged his pride and left him feeling very insecure, angry, spiteful. So, he went out and flirted/texted with other females. I ended up catching him and we once again split up. And once again, got back together. Needless to say. we weren’t able to completely get over our own insecurities to successfully make our relationship work any longer. Now, it’s been 4 years and we’ve been split up for 3 months. I’m completely confused and wish things could just go back to the way they were, and I’m fighting with myself because I still love him and want to make it work, but I’m afraid to make the wrong decision. So here is what I’ve learned, sometimes you simply need to trust and let go. If you keep worrying yourself about things that haven’t happened yet, or allowing your imagination to get the best of you, you’re stealing away your chance for happiness. And if it doesn’t work out at the end of the day, at least you can say to yourself that you tried your absolute best. If you keep hanging it over her head, you’ll just end up pushing her away. If she says she’s changed, and you feel she has, than trust that. Everyone has insecurities in relationships, it’s simply how you handle it that matters. Good luck.