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Jennifer

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • in reply to: Self-pleasure, intrusive thoughts and guilt #60332
    Jennifer
    Participant

    It’s a fantasy. And that’s it. I think I speak for everyone here when I say a majority of people that masturbate think of other people or other situations outside of what they’re currently living and experiencing. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years with a man I love very much, but when I’m trying to get off, chances are I’m thinking about a celebrity or watching porn or letting my imagination take me to a sexual situation I’ve never experienced. They are just what they are, THOUGHTS. And they are yours and only yours. You definitely shouldn’t be feeling guilty as it is a natural part of human nature. I can guarantee when your boyfriend masturbates he thinks of something or someone other than you most times too. Take a deep breath, and enjoy that brain of yours.

    With warmth,
    Jennifer

    in reply to: Needing some insight. #60280
    Jennifer
    Participant

    Matt,

    Thank you for taking time to read my story and share your insight. Your kind words have given me that extra comfort and positive reinforcement I was looking for. You are absolutely right. No love comes perfect or without work and we all make mistakes. I feel this is definitely worth fighting for. It’s easy to start anew and look for that “spark” but it is a vicious never ending cycle. In relationships we need to learn to find new ways to fall in love over and over again and not let the stress of the past or everyday life get in the way. I appreciate you.

    With warmth,
    Jennifer 🙂

    in reply to: Relationship insecurities #60246
    Jennifer
    Participant

    I can relate to this unfortunately too well. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. He cheated on me with his kids mother because she was refusing to let him see his kids, unless she was getting the kind of attention she needed. (She’s overall a psycho). When the truth came out, it was devastating. We split up and went our separate ways, but after months of talking it out he gave his reasons and he knew he messed up big time. He answered all my questions and insecurities (I know this because some of it I didn’t care to hear, he didn’t sugar coat it). We got back together and he smartened up. He did everything and went above and beyond to show me that he wasn’t that kind of man. But down the road I let the insecurities eat me alive and it got to a point where I started to stray away myself and found myself sexually interested in other men. I thought to myself if I’m feeling like this, there is something wrong in our relationship. They were simply thoughts, I never put them into action.. it was more a “What if I’m missing out on something better” moment. I was honest with him about the thoughts and he didn’t take it well. To him, he knew he messed up but he also proved day in and day out he was different, better.. just for me to throw this at him. It damaged his pride and left him feeling very insecure, angry, spiteful. So, he went out and flirted/texted with other females. I ended up catching him and we once again split up. And once again, got back together. Needless to say. we weren’t able to completely get over our own insecurities to successfully make our relationship work any longer. Now, it’s been 4 years and we’ve been split up for 3 months. I’m completely confused and wish things could just go back to the way they were, and I’m fighting with myself because I still love him and want to make it work, but I’m afraid to make the wrong decision. So here is what I’ve learned, sometimes you simply need to trust and let go. If you keep worrying yourself about things that haven’t happened yet, or allowing your imagination to get the best of you, you’re stealing away your chance for happiness. And if it doesn’t work out at the end of the day, at least you can say to yourself that you tried your absolute best. If you keep hanging it over her head, you’ll just end up pushing her away. If she says she’s changed, and you feel she has, than trust that. Everyone has insecurities in relationships, it’s simply how you handle it that matters. Good luck.

    in reply to: Can't trust my feelings re break-up #60245
    Jennifer
    Participant

    I am in a very similar situation right now so I hope I can spread a little bit of insight even though I’m a bit confused myself. My boyfriend (ex) and I have been together 4 years. Never in my life have I felt the way I do. We fell in love quickly and loved vigorously but through much turmoil and many unsolved problems, it seems my feelings started to change. I became almost uninterested, withdrawn and he could sense that. We decided to call it quits about 3 months ago. I kept telling myself I was going to work on myself and enjoy being single and maybe a little freedom is just what I needed. The situation started out ok because we were still living together and raising kids mutually so it was almost like I still got to keep him around as my best friend, but had the freedom to do what I wanted. But, it quickly changed. I realized that the flirting and other men that all of a sudden started throwing their attention at me felt pretty flattering at first, but it just wasn’t the same. I kept trying to convince myself that after all the years of not solving problems or things not working out it was for the best to be apart and tried my hardest to seperate my feelings and tried to be cold and disconnected. But, I kept getting lost in him and it’s been a constant daily struggle of wondering if I made the right decision. What about when he moves out for good, or even worse what if he finds someone new? What if he doesn’t feel the same anymore and we don’t work out down the road? Everyone goes through trials and tribulations in their relationships and it can get confusing. We’re exactly alike in so many ways, yet so different at the same time. You can never predict the future of you relationship, the only thing you can do is put your best foot forward and try to be better, to make it work. Don’t let the doubt and insecurity cloud your judgement. If you love this man, and you think he’s worth fighting for, than fight. No one is perfect. To me, the idea of a relationship is that YOU help him become a better version of himself while he helps you do the same. Distance shouldn’t matter. The first year and a half of our relationship he lived 8 hours away from me and we still managed to make it work. It’s easy to take advantage of what you have and then realize you shouldn’t of once it’s gone. Don’t let the fear hold you back from what could be a lifetime of happiness. At the end of the day, even if it doesn’t work out you can look at yourself proudly and say, “I tried my absolute best”. I hope things work out for you.

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