Really did you think about it?

What would be different? I’d have someone who understood my struggle. Someone who has gone through where I have been. A physical being friend who doesn’t just want to take advantage of me. Maybe a fresh start. Maybe a break away from people who wish to hurt me. Maybe a time to heal my head and mind. Maybe some guidance. Maybe a place to feel safe that would calm my fight or flight response. I don’t have anywhere like that here. And the more I am alone the more I feel worse.

No I am not in contact with anyone. I think this is the problem. How can one be so lonely and suffering from insomnia, ptsd, codependency and severe anxiety???

I just don’t feel safe to go to anyone but my mind and head keeps telling me I should. I just know they aren’t going to be able to be emotionally available but maybe at least be in their presence will help?

Anita,

i felt more depressed, worthless, and doubtful then ever today. Not sure if it is any of the meds but my self wasn’t me today. Usually I can still love me. Today not so much. I feel like that insecure, codependent little girl I once was. It’s funny you brang up codependent. I felt it today. I will not lie I almost called Him my ex. I felt I needed to be saved by someone, anyone. And still do. So hard to do this alone. I had to sign the lease and don’t think I can withdraw. I wish I could. I don’t think I want to be here anymore. I’ve only deteriorated in the last two months. I know some of this was my reactions and in ability to focus on me. My therapist told me the day this happened. Focus on you and your goals or you will lose yourself and that’s what they want. And surely I have! I’m disappointed. Scared and hopeless. I don’t want this to be my life. I was actually learning to love me and honor me and live life independently. How did I fade? I don’t know what the point is at this point.

How can I do it with sever anxiety attacks. Be there for Nichole?

Anita it sounded good for a minute and then bam. Anxiety!

Mom so scared right now. In my car scared as can be for no reason! This is so bad. I can’t believe this is happening right now.

I fear that I need to go to someone in my family just until I can get this anxiety under control!

This is a bad bad creature I’m dealing with. This has happened three days in a row. Scared as a lunatic in my car for hours. No where to go or nothing to do. No one to call.

I cant do this with this extreme anxiety creeping through my body!

Its in my neck and back and throat and chest. But most painfully my head. I feel like I’m being electrocuted!

Is this normal? Have you experienced this before?

I feel just like my family right now. They sure did make sure of that!

An earthquake. That’s exactly what it feels like.

up until now I have been able to talk myself out of these attacks. But I’ve been feeling like this for 3 days with today being worst!

This feels like prison in my mind. I feel like I need someone. And I don’t feel wrong for that. I need a human. I need some support. I do need family or someone who cares to sit with me. To care for me. How does one do this alone.

its miserable. I don’t deserve this

i just want it to go away

im so scared

How can I make it go away. Today feels like I’m trapped