Forum Replies Created
March 5, 2019 at 4:27 am #283049
I came here to post too that I feel my life is spiralling out of control . It feels right now that everything we touch goes wrong for us and it is costing us so much financially but I do try to remember each day ( thanks to the newsletters from here ) to be aware of what we do have .
So you have a husband who is telling you not to be over anxious so perhaps really there is no need to overthink on things . You have your lovely children so be thankful there too and unless it’s case where you are worried you might lose your home try to be calm about it all .
This is what i try to do . I get so overwhelmed with everything going wrong sometimes I forget we have lots to be thankful for .September 28, 2018 at 8:29 am #227923
Thank you yes I feel ok today which is a blessingSeptember 27, 2018 at 10:52 pm #227861
Thank you Anita I will for sure . I feel a little more positive today . Think many of us feel alone but hide it well .September 27, 2018 at 11:18 am #227803
Thank you Anita . It has helped me somewhat even writing here . And being able to associate with Airene made me feel I’m not alone .September 26, 2018 at 6:29 am #227589
I sound very like you . I stay for many of those reasons too . The whole extended family would suffer but I admit I stay mainly for him. I know he would crumble . Airene I love to read and walk and cook and talk and I like listening to music .
Anita I don’t get angry anymore . I’m more accepting I think and that’s why I’m trying to now make more of a life for me and do other things . Funnily we are actually going out tonight together first time in long time something he wants to do though and he didn’t want go alone but I’m happy to make effort and go .
He is mainly so so wrapped up in work and money though he doesn’t realise yet what he has missed out on all these years .
I appreciate your repliesSeptember 25, 2018 at 10:51 am #227457
I suppose because I married him , took a vow , and I feel guilty if I do not . Also I worry he could become depressed . I do still care about him and don’t want to hurt him .September 24, 2018 at 10:36 pm #227345
my sister only had one partner and that was about age 32 maybe no one before then . That ended badly and then she met her husband about 35 . Be kind and gentle to yourself .September 24, 2018 at 3:02 pm #227317
I didn’t want to read and run ( plus my eyes are closing as nighttime here ) and I’m sure someone with much better advice will answer soon but don’t give up hope .
Keep at your academics such a worthwhile profession . And don’t despair about meeting somebody . Someone will happen at the right time . Forget about the ones who didn’t work out , it’s nice you wish then well . My sister didn’t meet her partner until 35September 24, 2018 at 2:55 pm #227315
yes I told him that I am lonely but it goes in one ear and out the other . Today was much better . I texted my friend to walk with me and it helped a lot .September 23, 2018 at 1:57 pm #226839
no it wasn’t always like that . But since he became an owner of a company about the same time as the birth of our third ( and last child) he basically became interested mainly only in work . So about 17 years ago.September 22, 2018 at 11:25 pm #226741
I think you are very intelligent but suffering a great deal. Your writing skills are great and very to the point . I’m always amazed at how people write so well .
I did wonder could you help out with your father for awhile with the home rentals and get a bit of experience under your belt . Perhsps it’s a job you may find helps him and you .September 22, 2018 at 11:19 pm #226739
I feel lonely too but I’m much older than you . I think we all go through some lonely spells . Tbh I never felt lonely in college I was pretty extrovert back then. I think you have got some good suggestions above. There will be others in the same boat. Have a look around your class and see someone else sitting alone or a small group and try join them . Also join groups for socialising like a hiking club or movie night club . I bet they exist. You are going to have to put yourself out there and make the first move.
What happened with girls uou spoke to for an hour ? Have you met them since ?September 22, 2018 at 11:10 pm #226737
I like your post Anita . I think I spend too much time imagining the future and overthinking the present . One thing sticks out and I need to be gentler on myself.September 22, 2018 at 11:03 pm #226733
Thanks Anita for replying .
I don’t feel like I can end the marriage because although my husband only seems interested in work he depends on me a lot. He has an illness and needs special diet so I look after all that for him. I have actually told him if I was not here he would become very ill and he agreed. Also he has suffered depression and I feel he could easily slip back . He is good right now so I couldn’t even contemplate to hurt him or cause him illness.
i did make a special friend on the internet who helped me a lot who listened to me understood me and for 3 years was a huge support for me. We talked about nature, cookery , our families , politics , religion, everything and anything . He was 70 and has daughters the same age as me . My own dad died early enough as did my mum so I think I just reached out in grief. But now my friend has cancer and has to all extents and purposes disappeared . So lots of grief in my life.
I need a purpose really. Get some new routines going . I have a friend who I walk with . I could drive to meet my sister more. I just find everyone is too busy to bother anymore.
But it’s down to me too , to make more an effort. I know from reading here I’m lucky than some but of course no one can help how they feel inside . It scares me sometimes that I just wish I wasn’t here .
Thankfully I believe with some work on myself I can overcome this. Just need to try little by little