September 14, 2018 at 9:27 am #225703
At times we feel happy, hopeful, joyful and we imagine we can always feel this way.
At times we make logical choices that turn out just right and we imagine we can always make the logical choices and that our lives will turn out just right.
We know hurt and we imagine that we can live our lives in such a way that we will never feel hurt again, that we can live our lives in such a way that we will never hurt another person.
We fall short of what we imagine. Our imagination is the heights we can not reach. Oh, how fortunate other animals are in this regard, they don’t imagine the things we do.
We live and make so many wrong choices, year after year, decades, and we look back and get overwhelmed: what happened? Why… what is wrong with me?
I now understand that within the worldwide state of human dysfunction, it is impossible for any one of us to make the exception and live a perfect life, shaking off the dysfunction that preceded us and starting fresh. Most often, we get hurt before we are able to stand on our feet.
None of us is outside humanity, none of us can be an exception.
We have to do the best we can, this very moment, today and every day. To pay attention, to be gentle with ourselves and so very patient, to aim at experiencing as much peace of mind as it is possible for us, to live the lives that are available to us best we can. To not hurt others today, to not hurt ourselves.
We are humans, not gods. We should take great care to not hurt others, especially our children. But we have to forgive ourselves for not being gods, for we are not and cannot be all powerful, all knowing, all loving.
If you have thoughts and feelings you want to share on what I shared, please do.
anitaSeptember 15, 2018 at 8:52 pm #225829PrashParticipant
After I read this post, I did a small exercise with my thoughts. I asked myself what do I imagine about. When I imagine, I think of past situations and how future situations will pan out. Invariably the thoughts say that it will be just as the past has been. I made a column where I put my thoughts on the past in the 1st, thoughts on the future in the 2nd and the present in the 3rd.
I must say I couldn’t figure out what to do with the column in the present. It was blank; there were no thoughts in the present. None of the situations I was thinking of was a reality in the present. This exercise gave me a sense of freedom and a renewed interest in living the present moment to the full.
A life well lived in the present, mindfully, paves a way for a well cared for future.
Thank you for this stimulation.September 16, 2018 at 4:26 am #225835
“A life well lived in the present, mindfully, paves a way for a well cared for future”, well said. You have such order in your thinking (and the expressing of it), personally, I am impressed.
Living mindfully in the present leads the way to a better future than if living mindlessly in the present. The rushing to the future is not only in action, as in, let’s say, a driver rushing to a destination, to an expected event in the near future, then crashing the car and getting injured or dying (millions of people within a year, all over the world), but it is rushing in thought, rushing to resolve a distress by that overthinking.
I suppose there is such a thing as thinking mindlessly vs thinking mindfully. Didn’t think about that before… Mindful Thinking, unlike being carried away by thoughts.
Thank you for posting on my thread. I thought it might go unanswered altogether and that would have been okay with me, but then I thought: Prash will probably answer, being the gracious, caring person I believe that you are.
anitaSeptember 16, 2018 at 8:40 pm #225993PrashParticipant
How very kind and sweet of you to write in this manner.
With just a few messages and no direct conversations, you have determined the kind of person that I would like to become – gracious and caring. Hope to be like that consistently in all aspects of my life.
Thank you.September 17, 2018 at 8:25 am #226047
You are welcome. I think that the more we learn about the true nature of life and living, the more gracious and caring we become.
anitaSeptember 21, 2018 at 3:05 am #226561Hey Its JessParticipant
Totally get you. Rarely, we are taught to forgive ourselves and that often results in self-esteem issues later on in life.
Yes, we do imagine more than necessary at times but I don’t what I would do without imagining. It has made me have faith in a toxic person and see the light in bitter circumstances. I know it doesn’t change the reality but for a while at least, we feel at peace.
We wouldn’t know harmony without tough times. Maybe it is meant to exist this way. Its bleak, but maybe we all fated to fall over and get back up again. Sometimes fragility of a happy moment is what makes it special.September 21, 2018 at 4:37 am #226565
Dear Hey Its Jess:
Thank you for replying to my thread and it is always good to read from you!
“Rarely, we are taught to forgive ourselves”- if our parent/s forgave us for our imperfections, that would have taught us to forgive ourselves. Life would be so much better for that, if that happened. But instead, so many parents express to their children that they are displeased with them, disapprove, angry. Their anger sticks and we get stuck, well, I did, I got stuck in that anger.
“It (imagining) has made me have faith in a toxic person and see the light in bitter circumstances”- I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t spend my days imagining, daydreaming for hours at a time. I lived much of my childhood there, in the other worlds I imagined.
“I know it doesn’t change the reality but for a while at least, we feel at peace” – peace of mind, how precious, I wish everyone lived their lives in such a way as to have that peace of mind.
“maybe we all fated to fall over and get back up again”- seems like it, yes.
I will be glad to read more from you here and/or anywhere else.
anitaSeptember 22, 2018 at 1:19 am #226645Hey Its JessParticipant
Yeah I agree, Anita. Its pretty awesome to check out your thoughtful threads as well! 🙂September 22, 2018 at 8:50 am #226649Mangal KavitaParticipant
You are right from you point of view . Sometime situation arise like that automatically other person hurt from of us but exactly we concluded and find something different thought about any single is that what we do in some way is short term pain sometime and a long term truth which Sholden people accept it and understand it..
I mean if we start find a place and see our self and a situation then we can conclude it !!
I if anything to share will do !
Kavita ?September 22, 2018 at 11:10 pm #226737PetalParticipant
I like your post Anita . I think I spend too much time imagining the future and overthinking the present . One thing sticks out and I need to be gentler on myself.September 23, 2018 at 2:48 am #226749
Thank you for your reply. If I understood you correctly, you expressed that short term pain can lead to a long term better understanding of life and a better experience of life (“short term pain sometime and a long term truth which Sholden people accept it and understand it”), and I agree, absolutely.
Lots of people run away from the short term pain, I did, again and again, so my path toward better understanding and a better living was blocked, repeatedly. I hope to read more from you, here or in your own thread. Try to write as clearly as you can so that I can understand better.
Thank you for your reply. I do hope you learn to be gentle with yourself, more and more so every day. I wasn’t and I know people who aren’t. It is painful to watch people beating themselves up, being so harsh with themselves, it is watching self abuse, it is tough. And I did it, I too am learning every day to be gentle with myself. Glad you are a member here and hope to read more and more from you.
anitaSeptember 23, 2018 at 9:56 am #226823Mangal KavitaParticipant
Actually whatever you are feeling and you are facing these days I already faced and i started finding solutions! But I had failed, I learn first to understand the problem which create disturbance to all us mind…
So exactly I want to know the problem, I correctly understood that you are facing pain but what type.,I mean from yours family side and anything else…
Plz explain me more about it..
And the solution first find the exact problem and try to conclude it !! Then you can find a permanent solution…
Ye sb mind ko samjane and it’s all about emotional intelligence!!!!
Kavita ?September 24, 2018 at 11:19 am #227119
What does “ko samjane” mean?
You asked what type of pain I am facing. Well, at the moment, perhaps I am facing the pain of lost hopes and dreams, hopes and dreams such as that my mother will be happy some day, that she wil live a happy life, finally. That she will be happy with me and let me live.
I just let my words flow above, “let me live”, I wrote. That is the old pain of imprisonment, being imprisoned by her pain and seeing my only hope of freedom in her being happy one day.
anitaFebruary 7, 2019 at 8:16 pm #279271Mrs. RichardsParticipant
Cool post. I’m a visual artist, and I feel like that makes me different in a way that causes judgement from a lot of people. I am myself, and to a lot of people that’s really offensive/off-putting or just I guess not ok for them. I think that’s one of the main reasons I’ve struggled so much to find a job and get work – people usually tell me they can’t “wrap my head around me” or want me to just “go be an artist.” That’s pretty tough to hear when I’m struggling to get food on the table or a roof over my head. I think it’s sad that so many artists have been forced to live in poverty or rely on family throughout history, yet society has still failed to support artists – there’s probably a lot of people that would argue with me on that one, but artists probably wouldn’t 🙂
I’ve decided to start my own business, it’s the one way I think I might have a chance of not being bullied to poverty by people who don’t ‘get it,’ and actually not be poor. I mean, even when I hustle 1000% harder, the results in the 9-5 world just aren’t there for me. I’ve had enough.
I wanted to write to you Anita, because I think you do ‘get it.’ And now that I’ve started my business I’ve noticed that there are still some issues or blocks I’m facing to actually get the business up and running! I’ve wondered in the past if my art teacher telling me my plans to be an artist after college graduation really did mess me up inside – he said that I was “offensive” – oh well. It didn’t work out for me… My dream is to be a film director – but after trying for several years, I don’t really see how it’s going to happen, and I’ve faced so much adversity in my efforts and they didn’t pan out. So… what I’m wondering is do I have an internal block to making a living wage? Every time I’ve had a job around the time when I get to a place where I might be financially stable I quit, or get fired… My parents are narcisstic, and I live at home currently, I’m not sure if they play a role but they do doubt me or just see my abilities are like “goals” and not actually capabilities. I guess I’m just wondering because now that I’m doing my business I’m facing another block that’s in the way of me finally making an income with it… I’m not sure if it’ll work out, or if I’m sabotaging myself. If I did have an internal block to making a living wage – would that be something I can overcome? How would I do it? I mean… it would make sense because I’ve never been able to be financially stable, and when I get close I usually do get sabotaged or self sabotage with the negative thoughts. Do you think I’m on the right track?