StraightNoChaser- I hope you don’t feel as blue today as you did when you wrote this, and it seemed like you giving me advice on my post helped you feel better (I know if helped me). Hopefully I can return the favor. My mom works for the government and more and more lately government jobs and government funded programs simply run out of money. That could be the case with what you’re going through. But that doesn’t mean your dreams fell apart. You aren’t suppose to wait on any job to come through simply because they said they were interested in you. Keep putting in those applications! Doing something is better than doing nothing.

You seem to beat yourself up a lot for things that were out of your control. I know a few people who have dropped out of college multiple times and then went back, sometimes just one course at a time. Many community colleges will work with you if you communicate with them what’s going on and also freeze the money you owe to other educational institutions. But don’t feel rushed to jump right back into school. Take your time and when you’re ready, go for it. And don’t worry so much about being able to afford it. You never know what can happen if you don’t try.

Something that helps me when I feel like I am mentally falling apart is to take a short break from applying and worrying and do something I enjoy. For me, it’s walking my dog or watching and episode of “The Simpsons”. Find a couple things that will make you smile and take some time to do them.

Finally, you are not a loser, you did not ruin your life, and you didn’t have past failures, but rather, past lessons. Look at everything you “failed” in and try to find the lesson you learned from it. There always is a positive lesson and once you find it, then you know it wasn’t a failure. My mother got her G.E.D at 45…an Associates degree at 48…and her first full time job at 50, all while battling depression and anxiety. If some employers were willing to overlook a 20 year employment gap with her, I’m sure they will understand a 4 year gap because you were taking care of your child.

I hope this helps and remember, progress is progress, no matter how small.