There is an option to get notified via email below the box where you type your reply and above the submit button, over to the left. Not sure this always works though, as I think there are times I haven’t gotten the notification but have checked the box.

Ehhh I don’t agree about constant contact. I think that may be how some people operate, but not all. Before we could text all day what did we do? *Maybe* talked on the phone once a night after work/school. Maybe it wasn’t even every night. I know for myself, this is where I get into trouble – when I start thinking “well I would do this or that, so why isn’t he?…he must not be into me like I am him”….failing to take into account the fact that we’re two different people that show and process love and attention completely differently. I think it’s these expectations that kill relationships. I agree that if you want to be with someone you will want to talk to and spend time with them, but this amount and frequency of time does not look the same to everyone. I think just because he is taking a little time/space doesn’t mean that he won’t reach out or doesn’t want to continue talking at all.

I think Amber has some good points but have to say that I don’t see him not asking about you as an indicator that he doesn’t want to keep seeing you/talking to you. I think some people just don’t have this question reciprocation skill down like the rest of us. I would just give it a couple days and things should become clearer. xx

Hi Pearce,

Thank you for the kind words and I’m glad my vision resonated with you!! In an earlier comment of yours on this thread, you said that while you’re away in these places, you have physical sensations like your fingers feel like they’re miles apart. I totally know what you mean! It’s so hard to put words to that feeling of such expansion. I have the same feeling in my head sometimes, like the space in my skull is just limitless. Also like my body is floating. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way with any regularity, but I can remember it being a common feeling when I was younger and perhaps less bogged down by the daily grind!!

Pizza Hut!! Cheese with their pretzel crust mmmmmm

Hi Laura,

I’m sorry I don’t really have any solid advice to offer, but I do understand what you’re going through!! I’ve left relationships before thinking that it would be really easy to find someone perfect for me and then what a surprise when it’s not. But you getting out of an abusive relationship was for sure the right thing, and that’s good you see that – and also that you’ve allowed some time for yourself. Unfortunately, as much as we work on ourselves, some times the real work and the real test of the self work we’ve done can only be done in the context of a relationship. Like I know for myself, I will feel really good and confident on my own for a while and then as soon as I’m really into someone that all just crumbles. How frustrating!

What I’m learning is that we see everything through the filter of our own experiences and perceptions…like when he was late to your date, you immediately took it personally like he was blowing you off. When in reality, he could just be a not very timely person and it has nothing to do with you. You may have texted to let him know you’d be late if the roles were flipped but maybe that’s just not his thing. And because he hasn’t initiated anything physical with you…maybe he’s just a respectful person who wants to take that side slow (a good thing, in my opinion) or maybe he has insecurities of his own.

When you feel yourself having the sabotaging thoughts, I would challenge you to think of any possible explanations for what’s happening other than anything that has to do personally with you. I wish I could offer something more concrete, and I know it’s SO hard, especially in the moment! From experience, I know that things I tend to take personally usually have very little to do with me, and more to do with what’s going on with the other person (how their day at work was, what traffic was like, how they feel physically, etc). But it took me a few years of questioning significant others for me to figure this out. Next time you have these thoughts, I would just take a step back and try to remove yourself from the situation almost. Look for other ways to see and interpret what’s before you.

PearceHawk,

Was looking through some of your old postings because I like advice you’ve given and WOW this is beautiful…gave me goosebumps and misty eyes. I love this imagery and am going to snatch it and adapt it for my own beginning dabblings in meditation. Impatience is something I struggle with too, along with self doubt and low self esteem. I love seeing the sandbags drop and dissolve, and being able to soar higher and higher in My Life because of the release of the weight of those things that don’t serve me.

You’ve definitely shared some happiness and peace, thank you very much. 🙂