jasmine i feel the word adamant apt bcoz even though i knew that my words have hurted many ppl, i have never said sorry even if my parents request, i have always been stubborn to say the word sorry

at present when i readur email.. i was crying why all these years i spoiled my own life for the past 29 years.. why i was not matured and wise like other kids eventhough i was given advices at the right time from my parents…

when i read ur mail.. i said sorry to my god, jesus, unless he forgives me, i cant move forwards and cant do anything on my own without his help.

one last time for my sake, i said sorry inside on my own..will it suffice..i dont know whether it was sincereor there was feelings..i was just crying… i cant this silly question to anyone..its unanswerable question..they ll laugh at me

please understand i live in a village…i can do it in my room… and i did it..i didnt find it difficult as people say… i was able to do ..

but i want to learn how to love myself and how does it feel..might be my feeling or thinking capacity is impaired or else i have neve loved or forgive anyone.. i dont know how to self nurture..any example

Good noon…

i always feel that i am poor at communicating to people..because people always find hard to understand what i want to convey and i get emotional why people dont undrstand me..

i tried doing the meditation even today morning..i never felt chatter in mind and brain but several thoughts pass through, it can something related to what i watched in tv, something read in books, something that happened at office or else i create fantasy of what i like. But to my surprise, these thoughts also pass through as well as i am able to count with less mistake..how come

second thing most of the people say, including u guys..that we should act or behave as others want..but today till this moment i spoke to my aunt in nice way…might be i was acting…if i had tobe like i am then i had to show the dullness, but i controlled my feelings.. should i continue like this..?

my mother says that i should engage myself in activities and try to mingle more with people?

third..i cant lift up my mood bcoz when i see my parents face, there are always dulll bcoz of my behaviour and second i am not yet settledwith my marriage till this age..people always ask them about my marriage..when i see their i also become dull and upset. i have said them several time o be happy and pleasant

One more thing…i dont know being a girl whether i should say or not…one of my biggest sadness is that i am just 47kg but have big breast (38)… and they are heavy, i cant sit straight, after sometime my back get tired and my shoulder starts falling..even while meditating.. i cant sit straight for long.. from my school days onwards, people make fun of me bcoz i am small and lean with a good figure, butmy breasts are so big, as if only they are visible, i cant even take part in sport and wear dress of my choice.i have an inferiority complex related to that..my back and shoulder pains

O jesus..thanks a lot for taking the patience to answer even the most silliest of my questions…
I need to learn lot of things and unlearn many old habits..

does compassion mean that when ever i get dull from inside, i need to say positive words or strokes to myself?

i know that its always advised to meditate or exercise in the early morning..but will it be equally effective if i do at night…i am asking of my home environment and lack of privacy…is there anything wrong if i feel sleepy while doing this meditation..i tried today i felt sleepy

wheni started doing the meditation,, when i breathe out my temples above the eye brow start paining.. i am bit worried if there are no changes even after trying this

Sorry, I belong to India..I live in a small town..so u guess there are no yoga studios or support group…

I need to be explained everything in a simple way to understand thing..difficult to understand things faster…sorry dont get irritated when i ask doubts again and again becoz certain sentences i cant grasp easily..

When we say being compasionate towards ourselves, feeling gentle towards us? what does that mean or how to do that….

its 100% true that all my life emotions have overruled me and always try to handle..please tellme what does it mean letting them pass

Thanks to Rumniant and Matt… I have certain questions…

Keeping my face smiling always reduce any portion of my problem?
I am ready to reduce my talks and listen more,stop saying negative words about me, try to reduce arguing nature.
But can someone tell how to be conscious everytime.. for example if i have to take deep breathe when i get angry or anxious.I dont remember i have to do so..why?

when u say that i have to be compassionate with me..? does that mean i have to show sympathy towards me that will make me more depressed.. to help me little can u site example as to how to compassionate myself ..

I should stop pop of words as mentioned in one of the above given advice.i have felt bad and feel dull from inside as i am feeling now..but words doesnt pop inside..i always feel tightness at both the ends of my brain..i dont know whether others also feel the same.

when i dream, think, imagine or create good fantasy about me, i start becoming over proud of myself…half of the time i am normal and happy and the rest i am upset.. why so? why i cant make balance… is it any kind of personality disorder

people say that i am bold in all matters.. thats true..its only about my character i am so worried and upset..

WHat TR told is right i become defensive when someone says something..i argue a lot and later i sit and regret or cry bcoz i didnt give try..i feel as if i am purposefully trying to hurt myself or spoil myself.. any solution to stop being defensive in the first instance itself…

please do reply to my queries step by step and in simple way to understand easily…

WITH love
Rahel abraham