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Rammi

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #404556
    Rammi
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I do know I sometimes act out of passion and later regret it. I don’t know why or how to fix this.  Maybe this comes from a fear of rejection or from wanting love.

    #404373
    Rammi
    Participant

    We had decided to work things out and figure them out together all in the same conversation as when he said he’s emotionally unavailable.  When we did meet the following weekend when he opened up, He told me that weekend that he once again didn’t mean the emotionally unavailable comment. He was trying to push me away because his parents won’t agree.

    #404363
    Rammi
    Participant

    I don’t think the break up’s is about the arguments. The 1st time ever he disappeared on me for a week was when I asked him to meet my brother. When I say argument we aren’t yelling at each other or cursing. We just disagree. For the most part he doesn’t say anything, they are short and braid because I ask a question and he doesn’t have an answer and he doesn’t express anything and it’s frustrating. It seems like he ran away every time family came up. Either his or mine. Because meeting each others family or involving them meant the next step which now hind site I see he never was ready for or wanted or knew his parents would not accept. One or all. Which brings me back to the questions of not knowing what is true and being led on for 2.5 years. Him never being clear about what he wants and expressing himself. When we had arguments/disagreements it was respectful. We didn’t yell or curse or get physical.  I believe towards the end when he ignored me and wouldn’t even have a conversation with me that I felt I deserved with the time we have spent together. I texted him calling him a coward was the 1st time I name called. 2nd instance was the last time I saw him I called him a pussy which is the same As a coward and I stand by that. I think the breakups were his way of not dealing with me, or dealing with his guilt because he knew what he was doing and how selfish he had been with me. It’s easier to run away then to deal with a problem.  All couples have small arguments, we didn’t have an argument every time  we saw each other.   But every time we did have an argument he chose to walk away because it was just the easier thing for him to do.  Once again selfish because he didn’t ever think about me in the situation.

    #404316
    Rammi
    Participant

    Thank you Anita. I always appreciate your feedback and analysis

    #404315
    Rammi
    Participant

    I understand what you’re saying. I have no intentions of speaking to him again.  But there’s this voice in my head that is not accepting things how they happened. Even though I feel he told me there’s no guarantee of a future I feel the love of my life is incomplete. A part of me wishes he wakes up tomorrow and realizes the mistake he’s made and fixes it.  But that’s just me being hopeful.

    #404304
    Rammi
    Participant

    Yes I didn’t, because I hadn’t ever experienced that kind of chemistry or love with anyone before. So I excused his behavior as immaturity and thought in the end love concours all.  But off course I was wrong.  I know there’s no going back to him after this.  Whether he was honest or not it’s over for me.  In the end he didn’t love me enough or else we would be together.  The difference between the rest of the times and this time is that I choose to walk away this time.  I could have easily continued whatever this was and kept getting hurt in the process.  I think mentally and physically it was all taking a toll on me. Where I realized it’s always been me fighting and trying and I realized that it will never work unless two people put in equal effort.   Even after realizing all this, it still hurts very much. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I told myself I would try and date other people and move on but I find it so hard to even keep up a conversation because I lose interest. I think about him everyday. I decided to work on myself but also can’t find the strength to do that.  I had low self esteem to begin with but after hearing him make that comment and the possibility of his love not being true is eating me up inside. I don’t know what to do or how to make things better for myself.

    #404300
    Rammi
    Participant

    Hi,

    yes that was a typo, he told me he wanted the same things I do.  That’s why we were able to talk about marriage and kids and where we would live.  The last day I saw him, we spent the day together and we were talking about his sister getting married. I asked him if his parents chose the guy and he said no she found him on a dating app.  He then went on to say that his parents left it up to them to find someone, which leads me to believe he’s hiding behind his parents as an excuse to save face.

    #404298
    Rammi
    Participant

    Hi Anita,
    <p class=”p2″><span class=”s2″>Honestly I’m not sure what to make of this. On one hand I feel he would know all along what his parents approve of or not from the beginning.<span class=”Apple-converted-space”>  </span>And now to say they wouldn’t approve after 2.5 yrs without even taking to them doesn’t make sense to me. It could be possible that he was conflicted that can explain the so much off and on but it’s so selfish of him not to share his thoughts and keep me in the dark when he spoke to his sister over a year ago. If he truly does find me attractive and love me why won’t he be willing to at least try? Or fight for us? He did say his parents will eventually live with him, which I assured him won’t be a problem with me as it’s a norm in our culture. I just feel he’s a coward who won’t stand by me. </span></p>

    #368075
    Rammi
    Participant

    I have deleted his number from my phone and will not contact him again.  I believe I deserve to be loved and I deserve a lot more than I was being given by him.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)