Hi Anita,

I do know I sometimes act out of passion and later regret it. I don’t know why or how to fix this.  Maybe this comes from a fear of rejection or from wanting love.

I don’t think the break up’s is about the arguments. The 1st time ever he disappeared on me for a week was when I asked him to meet my brother. When I say argument we aren’t yelling at each other or cursing. We just disagree. For the most part he doesn’t say anything, they are short and braid because I ask a question and he doesn’t have an answer and he doesn’t express anything and it’s frustrating. It seems like he ran away every time family came up. Either his or mine. Because meeting each others family or involving them meant the next step which now hind site I see he never was ready for or wanted or knew his parents would not accept. One or all. Which brings me back to the questions of not knowing what is true and being led on for 2.5 years. Him never being clear about what he wants and expressing himself. When we had arguments/disagreements it was respectful. We didn’t yell or curse or get physical.  I believe towards the end when he ignored me and wouldn’t even have a conversation with me that I felt I deserved with the time we have spent together. I texted him calling him a coward was the 1st time I name called. 2nd instance was the last time I saw him I called him a pussy which is the same As a coward and I stand by that. I think the breakups were his way of not dealing with me, or dealing with his guilt because he knew what he was doing and how selfish he had been with me. It’s easier to run away then to deal with a problem.  All couples have small arguments, we didn’t have an argument every time  we saw each other.   But every time we did have an argument he chose to walk away because it was just the easier thing for him to do.  Once again selfish because he didn’t ever think about me in the situation.

I understand what you’re saying. I have no intentions of speaking to him again.  But there’s this voice in my head that is not accepting things how they happened. Even though I feel he told me there’s no guarantee of a future I feel the love of my life is incomplete. A part of me wishes he wakes up tomorrow and realizes the mistake he’s made and fixes it.  But that’s just me being hopeful.

Hi,

yes that was a typo, he told me he wanted the same things I do.  That’s why we were able to talk about marriage and kids and where we would live.  The last day I saw him, we spent the day together and we were talking about his sister getting married. I asked him if his parents chose the guy and he said no she found him on a dating app.  He then went on to say that his parents left it up to them to find someone, which leads me to believe he’s hiding behind his parents as an excuse to save face.

I have deleted his number from my phone and will not contact him again.  I believe I deserve to be loved and I deserve a lot more than I was being given by him.