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He messaged me 20 days back but this time he was so angry on me and he started saying that i should have not accepted the relationship and that he was happy after i left him he also started hitting on my insecurities while he was saying all these i just asked him to be in senses before speaking because i was just shocked to hear him saying those words to me. Then we ended the conversation after him saying few cuss words to me. Though he has said all those things my heart still wanted him but i didn’t tell him anything.
This appears to be more of attachment rather than love. The fact that he said those words after the breakup shows that clingy feeling, that neediness. that feeling of desperate wanting to be with you. A truly loving person wouldn’t say this.
If a son/daughter wants to go for higher studies to another country, a mother does not curse the him/her or say bad things or ask to stay with her all the time. The mother even though inside would like to be always with her child, but will willingly allow the son/daughter to go abroad for further studies without that neediness, that attachment. This is true love….Divine love.
Like it is truly said – If you like a flower you will pluck it, but if you love it you will nurture it, water it, and allow it to grow.
It doesn’t look like you did anything wrong. Focus on your dreams and aspirations which is to continue with the studies and establish the career that you have desired for. The man of your dreams would come to you at the right time at the right place.RaviParticipant
Have you not heard of the quote –
“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”
Yes somewhere you need to come to a stage where you need to understand life, its blessings and its shortcomings.
“Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world” ~Eckhart Tolle
I had oily skin with lots of acne throughout my childhood, teenage years. This caused me a lot of anxiety and particularly social anxiety. Because this was the time when the personality of a person gets developed and I was living with this. I developed inferiority complex because of this. I could not meet people or if I could then I would get frustrated…very frustrated. This happened a lot of times and it went on and on for several years.
One day I sat with myself and asked “How can I come out of this?”
I evaluated the options:
1. Visit the doctor and ask how can this be cured –
He said oily skin is due to the hormones in the body and excess of these hormones cause these acne all over the face.
There are medicines to reduce this oiliness but then they are hazardous because they suppress the natural mechanism of the body to create this oil/sebum. So I did not wanted to cause more complications in my life. This was not an option.
2. So that means I could not do anything physically. Could I do anything mentally about it?
This was the only option remaining with me and so I decided to end this frustration.
I understood that this frustration was mind-made and so it was in my hands to deal with it. How powerful?
Started reading about articles, books, videos, etc on how the mind tricks us and how NOT to believe what the mind says.
If you do this you will not only come out of your mind-made frustration about height, but it will also give you a tool on how to handle many such challenges that come in our lives.
I do not say I have no more oily skin or acne because I have come out of my teenage years. (In fact those acne has now caused permanent scarring on my face.) Nor do I say that my anxiousness about my face has permanently gone. But now I know what to do when this frustration happens. I know how the mind plays games with me by telling me all sorts of things like “You are not looking good, you look awkward, other people have a beautiful face” and lots of other mind made stories.
Try to stay with people who do not make fun of you and accept the way just like you are.
If they are not making fun of you and you are still unhappy with your height, then it is your own mind-made, isn’t it? And now you can start working on coming out of it by the advises I have given you. There are lots and lots of articles, videos on it and they are all free. Start working. Stop thinking. Work on coming out of the prison of your own mind.
I also found that whatever shortcomings one may have, people only see things like persona, your way of talking, confidence, eye contact, voice, your ability to be nice to others, your kindness, your character, and many such soft skills. So try to develop them.
Before I take your leave I suggest you to take a look at the below video.