Hello Anita. We’ve all hurt someone in our lives. I see that you are already trying to make up for your past actions. That is good. What helped me lessen the guilt before is to write a letter to people I’ve wronged. I sobbed and couldn’t finish writing. It was so so painful. But it helped me even for a tiny bit. You are human and have emotions.

Hello! The future, when you’re 30 might actually be better, or not better. We can’t really tell. What you can do is improve on the now.
Though our events are different, I understand your frustration and pain. You’re trying to recover then bam! Another problem comes along. A couple of years ago, my therapist told me to do little things that prove that I am capable, to make me feel empowered when I feel helpless. It’s not a quick fix but it helped me boost my mood even for tiny bit. This might be drawing, cooking a meal, just anything to start to make me feel not worthless even for a brief moment of the day. What activity are you good at?

The more general advice is to exercise to release those happy hormones.