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October 5, 2019 at 8:11 am #316209
I actually attended the funeral today, to my surprise, no one asked me for anything or wanted me to do anything everyone’s mind were in a world of their own, i took some advice from my friend where he told me “try to be social even if you don’t like it”. I sparked a conversation about my grandmothers food and how she used to address me and everyone. During her burial i was speaking to my father about one of grandmothers dishes , he broke into tears. This was the very first time i ever saw my father cry i hugged him when he was crying . This made me cry aswell some of the relatives started laughing but i didn’t care.September 9, 2019 at 11:17 pm #311173
My dad supported me financially until the age of 24 until i got out of college and got a job, also he is an emotionally hardened person over the course of 24 years of living with him, i rarely seen him smiles or laughs, and when ever he does laugh he laughing of someone’s status in society, he held high position in his teaching fields as a head of the department, so i’m guessing that might be the bi-product of his egotistical behavior, but i had made peace with his stubborn non-open behavior long time ago, and came to terms that some things in life cannot be changed. He is a rational person when sober but becomes mentally unstable when he’s drunk, so you can tell by this my upbringing around him wasn’t quite normal like rest of the kids, i don’t consider it as a bad thing, as many unfortunate others wouldn’t have gotten the facilities that i had got since i was a kid. He always likes to bring out my flaws when he is drunk like me taking an extra year to complete my degree, which explains why he had to support me for an extra year so that i clear all the failed ones, which i regret for a while in my life. I had paid all my debts that i owe to him like my college fees once i got my job. Next year i’ll be done paying up all the fees that he has paid me for my schooling which is kind of a relief. Even at the age of 70 he make 4 times more money than me, he sometimes asks me to deposit amount to his bank account i would do it gladly sometimes, after giving away money, to feel relived as i feel that i had done right by doing my dharma, So i’m in a way am supporting him by sending him money when ever he asks. I’m not much of a spender or a out door person, i don’t like living a expensive life style or spending irresponsibly so money is not a problem for me. My father side of the family is kind of weird, they always severely competed with each other , like whenever an sibling made more money than the others, others used to get really annoyed and frustrated by that sibling, so i haven’t made any kind of long lasting bonds with them, and i tend to stay out of their toxic culture. But now i have other question after talking about all of this ” Do most families operate this way ?”. And to answer why i don’t do any last wishes of the dead because they are dead and what ever they want won’t matter especially when their wishes are as mundane as distribute ashes into some river XDSeptember 9, 2019 at 5:37 pm #311125
My father is a 70 year old hard working medical college professor, and is still working instead of retiring, i had took care of him when he had fallen sick, i had cleaned stuff when he messes up literally and metaphorically. I respect him a lot as an individual and what he has been through, i do love him but in the hierarchy of things i love he lies under some people like for example, if he is on his death bed and he ask me to go some place and distribute his ashes in to some river, i won’t be doing that thing after his death.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Milo.