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November 30, 2015 at 3:10 pm in reply to: Feeling trapped in school, should I just get up and go? #88569
SaiishaParticipantHello bailsafe,
Have you watched the movie Sliding Doors? It’s about a woman’s life (Gwyneth Paltrow) who misses the train in a split-second and the story of what happens; but then there’s also a parallel story of when she doesn’t miss the train and then what happens.Wouldn’t it be cool to see our lives in that way – what would happen if I make this decision now versus a different one? But the way life operates is that it gives you choices – these choices are yours to make! If you’re willing to go along on the adventure to see where it will lead you, go with the one that causes the most excitement in your heart! If you feel like you’d regret your choices later in life then go with the safer options.
“How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives.” – one of my favorite quotes from Annie Dillard. I hope this helps!
SaiishaParticipantAnita – this is an interesting way to put it – “I fear my death, but that already happened: before I was conceived I was NOT, just as after dying I will be NOT. What I fear: my non existence already happened.”
I feel this way too – that my death has already happened, but my reaction is the opposite of yours – I don’t feel fear of it. I might be naive, but I can honestly say I’ve never feared it so far – I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I wonder if people don’t fear death so much as dying?
As for your other comment about religious people not being able to handle the truth, I don’t know enough about other religions, nor am I religious, but the philosophy behind reincarnation in Hinduism and Buddhism is not to “never die” but to transcend the endless birth-and-death cycle.
But you’re right – no matter which way you look at death, no one truly knows it until they experience it – until then it’s only a belief 🙂
SaiishaParticipantSad but true, for many many children! As well, there are many children who are loved and looked after, and might still grow up to be not-so-nice human beings. The journey to return to our true selves, (despite / because of our parents) needs to happen for all of us, or so I believe.
SaiishaParticipantHappy Birthday J! This is a cool list – I enjoyed reading it… what a neat thing to do to celebrate your birthday 🙂
SaiishaParticipantJack – thank you too, for adding to your list. Certainty is huge for me right now – that’s what I’m working on. I’m a little surprised to see “the need for social status” – that’s very honest to admit!
And I don’t see anything wrong with creature comforts myself… give me more chocolate any day 🙂
SaiishaParticipantHi Anita – Thanks for your thoughtful list! Fear and anger are certainly at the top of my list. Distortions is a biggie, isn’t it – it’s our monkey mind playing it both ways to suit its purposes, its need to be right, its need to be “better”, whatever that better might be.
I couldn’t agree more about social conventions, disease to please, caring what others think of me – I’m a lot better than before, but even this morning I wrote in my journal about caring what other people think – so obviously I’m still struggling.
Funny you said “anita” wasn’t on the list, but ultimately, that’s the last thing we need to let go of – our selves 🙂
SaiishaParticipantYour home sounds like mine Anita – living in the wild, in nature, no cable, no TV, no netflix – nothing but fire in the wood stove and the howling wind. I talk to beavers and gophers and hawks for conversation. And although I have given up conventional employment, I’m creating a living by helping and awakening others on this path. I love that we have a shared sense of the world we live in – so thank you for responding to my question! You do some amazing work here on TinyBuddha – and what a way to help others but also heal yourself too!!
SaiishaParticipantOn behalf of your ego – funny 🙂
SaiishaParticipantYou’re very welcome Anita!
SaiishaParticipantI couldn’t agree more Jack – and I don’t mean I’ve lost touch with the world – just that I don’t watch it obsessively. I don’t want to give my energy to the insanity of sensational journalism lately. I read somewhere that the 24 hour news channels were set up in response to 9/11 – which maybe makes sense for times like the Paris attacks – but what about the other days of the year when it just becomes mindless TV?
SaiishaParticipantBrilliant – you really should consider publishing your poetry Jack! There’s not enough humor in spiritual literature 🙂
SaiishaParticipantOh not at all Jack – I appreciate the levity – and actually you had some truths in there! Made me laugh 🙂
SaiishaParticipantJack – if I remember right, that pain body chapter (was it chapter 3?) was the longest in the book – Tolle had a lot to say about it 🙂 The way I understood it, it’s almost like an independent entity (separate from the pure non-self part of us) that has been built up over thousands of years of hurt and pain – from our own family, community, society, culture, country, race, religion – all those institutions that have written or unwritten rules and expectations; and some form of punishment(s) for not meeting them. And so the pain accumulates, and we carry it with us – and it rears its head whenever any of those unwritten events show up in our life in some form.
This is how I understood it – and experienced it.
SaiishaParticipantAnita – I really don’t know enough about this disorder, but it just made me sad to read your post – that you felt scared day after day, eating breakfast. Wow – I can’t imagine what that must be like. I can’t imagine you being scared somehow – to me, you come across as confident, clear in your head. It’s a good realization though – that whatever you’re scared of already happened – that it’s over. It sounds like you relive it over and over again, but still, when you remember that realization that it’s over, I hope it helps!
SaiishaParticipantI like how you called it the “chronic obligation” to be nice to others Troy – the “disease to please” – the “need for approval”. There are lots of phrases for this condition because you’re not the only one who has it! We all do – we’ve been molded over thousands of years into the civilized society that we’ve created.
Reminds me of an old blog post I had written about this, if you’re interested: http://www.nestintheforest.com/mask-off/
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