Hey E —

I just had one comment I wanted to add here: anyone who thinks you are not worth being in a relationship because you have shared something personal with them, is not worth dating. The right people will care for you just the way you are, and will be willing to work with you through your struggles 🙂

I told my current boyfriend on day one about my anxiety disorder, my frequent panic attacks, and the (very had to talk about) fact that I take medication to calm the panic attacks. Not only did he tell me he still wanted to be with me, but he has supported me, told me we can work through it together, convinced me not to be ashamed, and has never once made me feel badly about it.

The personal example there is just to show you that there are people out there that will love you for you 🙂

Hm. I somehow feel attacked in this post which is odd given that I was simply trying to help. Anita, I honor your perspective as I hope you would honor mine without judgement. Adam — I hope you find a partner who makes you happy. That is all from me

Aww sweet. Thank you J 🙂

Also Anita — I have no idea if there is a way I can say this to you outside of forums, but I wanted you to know that I think what you do is incredible. You have helped so many people here. You are a kind soul.

I want to be remembered in some small way by everyone I meet. I know…a very unrealistic idea, but one that I’ve always held dear. I make a point of being there for as many people as I can, family, friends, even strangers. I want to make an impact, however small, in the lives of others. I want to be the kind stranger that smiled at someone having a bad day and made it just a bit more bearable. I want to be the friend that offered to help clean up the accidental mess someone else made. I want to be that person who stands up to bullies. It’s something I live by I suppose. Both compassion, and the neverending desire to be remembered in a positive way by the people I stumble across in life 🙂

Okay so I’ll admit I havent thoroughly read everything here, but if you’re considering english, know you can DEFINITELY make a living from it 🙂 I studied English Lit and am doing pretty well for myself as a project coordinator at my dream company.

English skills come in handy in many places. If you’re passionate about it, give it a shot 🙂

Hi Elle,

It’s a shame that you feel any negativity towards this site. In my brief experience, I have only felt love and warmth. of course some things have been difficult to hear, but at the end of the day, it seems everyone is here in order to provide support. They may bring to attention some of the harder things, but I’m pretty positive it’s all with good intent.

Anyways, I dont know anything about your story, your experiences, and your life, but I do wish you a wonderfully bright future, and lots of love to come 🙂

Good Morning Susan,

I wanted to start by saying this: you’re not crazy. Your feelings are warranted and very real to you. These are not feelings of a crazy person! These are feelings of someone who is hurt and wants answers.

I read the whole chain, the comments between you and Anita, and I also found myself wondering if there must be something else going on his life. Some other type of crisis he needs to figure out on his own. It doesnt sound like he has only shut down from you, but has also shut down from family and friends. Clearly the breakup is painful for him, but I think there is something else there. Something else he is trying to understand about himself. I would bet anything that he is not entirely sure why he broke up either. He fought for a long time, and I think something must have made him crash. Something in his own life back home. Something you had control over.

I know this next piece of advice is significantly easier said than done, but here are my two cents. I think you need to decide for yourself that this is over. Stop holding out hope that it may work out because he’s not communicating and you will simply be left miserable with a mind swimming of unanswered questions. It may be easier to move forward in life if you make the choice for yourself. It’s possible he will come back later in life with answers, as so many in difficult situations do, but the only way that can happen is with a complete break. In my experience, the tighter you try to hold on to someone who is suffering, the more they push away. I want to give you an example of my own life.

I once dated someone who I was madly in love with. We were so compatible and everything seemed wonderful, but all of a sudden one day he changed. He became distant and accusatory. I had no idea what had changed in his life, and he was too proud to admit it to me. All I knew is that he was treating me differently, out of the blue, for reasons I could not understand. One day, seemingly out of nowhere, he accused me of cheating on him, and shortly after broke up with me. He then told me he was too depressed about circumstances in his own life to bring pleasure to another person. I was heart-broken, upset, and could not understand why he wouldnt let me work through this with him. So, I left him alone. After some time he came back and asked for a second chance.

My point here is not that he came back, but that the break happened over something that was not in my control. The point is, sometimes you just have to let people figure it out. Yes, he told you a piece of it was your controlling nature, but this had been happening since the beginning, and he decided it bothered him at a very strange time: right as things were about to finally move forward. My hypothesis is that there is some kind of commitment issue there. Some fear of the relationship becoming a huge scary reality.

I hope this helps. I know how hard these things can be and I’m rooting for you 🙂