Dear Matt

Thank you for taking the time again to explain how your life feels with depression and anhedonia. You have done a very good job at explaining this.

Perhaps though what I would love to read from further writings from you is what parts of any of the advice others have given you, have somehow rung true and given you a feeling that perhaps the advice is worth giving a go.

Go through again with an open mind and heart, all the comments and helpful advice people have offered (remembering a lot of this advice is from people who have gone through similar to you. This advice is given because we Care about you and what you to feel pleasure again). And list some of the things that you could maybe give a go. I would love to read such thoughts from you, and read about any small changes you are willing to make to help yourself get better.

No one can make you better we can only help support you and make suggestions and tell you some of the things we have done to overcome situations like yours. But first you have to decide that you are ready to get better. Are you ready to try ???

I was very glad to read you write ‘my anhedonia has lasted all day everyday for many months now’ that has given me such hope that you probably will regain your feelings again as you have once felt pleasure and it hasn’t been years, BUT you need to be at the period of your life that you are ready to stand up for yourself and be kind enough to yourself to try to get better.

I look foreward to hearing about any small changes you make. Tell me about the smallest thing you see on one of your walks that at least once gave you pleasure, tell me how you spend 15 minutes sitting outside watching the orange and red sunset- not that it gave you pleasure but because it once did and though it gave you no pleasure at this stage of your life you focused on how the colours slowly changed and breathed slowly etc etc. Answer some of the questions that other people have ask you – that way your writing doesn’t come across as a copy and paste troll exercise but from someone who really wants help and allows others who care to try and provide that encouragement to you ok?

Warmest wishes

Dear Matt,

I understand what you are explaining, and how you have described, how frustrating life must feel when you have depression and anhedonia.
I can not help you overcome depression and anhedonia, and don’t know how having no pleasure must feel, over an extended period.

When I lived in the largest city in my country I did go through a stage when I felt like a ‘zombie’, spaced out and unable to enjoy life. I had developed multi sensitivities, at it’s height even to electricity, too an extent that I had to turn off/on power switches with a wooden spoon. Today I ‘have’ too live a very quiet life, on a small farm, with little outside interacting with the world (except ‘natural’ low populated areas), my health has improved greatly over time since the move. Though I am still very restricted to where I can go and what my body will tolerate. There’s no need to go into it too much but I do actively try to ‘enjoy’ my days and try to find as much pleasure and goodness as I can. So perhaps I can talk about this?

You talk about a comparison between feeling like a robot vs human feelings. I don’t live like a robot but sometimes I feel that I live like an animal. This is to say I try to find contentment and joy in the most simplest things (the sunshine on the feathers of a bird hovering close by, how the wings of a butterfly in flight move across my yard, such things now bring contentment because I have practiced watching for beauty and opening up to the littlest bit of pleasure I can find) so I spend a lot of time watching, observing and interacting with nature and animals and try to use all my 5 senses

Animals find as much joy in their days as they can gather..the warm sun of there sides as they lay beneath the sky resting, the wind as they run through it, each other’s company …
Animals know they live in a world of flesh and blood, they accept that their lives are not all about pleasure (indeed there would be no evolution if the world was only ‘pleasure’ and we’d all be the ‘slime’ that lives at the side of the pond). They accept pain, but if they are injured they take no pleasure in it and to their whole ability try their best to push past any pain and go about their day as best as they can while they regain their health.

An exception to this is when some animals are forced to live in an unnatural environment of captivity, when they aren’t living as they want to… you might say they are given a life of ‘only pleasure’- they have as much drink and food as they wont, they never have to worry about watching out for predators, kept warm in winter etc. But many animals, especially the ones that evolved greater cognitive abilities may feel so ‘trapped and bored’ that they develop habits of thinking and acting out, that are counter productive to their health both mental and physical.

Life is not only about pleasure it’s complex and is often messy but perhaps what I felt most in your letter is the wish that you could ‘feel pleasure’ and would like suggestions?

I don’t know where to start but with questions…
Did you have a ‘nice’ childhood ? or has something else along the way hurt you emotionally that you now hide your pleasure and happiness to protect yourself from disappointment and pain?
Have you ever felt pleasure by wholesome ways ? If so perhaps open yourself up to the idea that ‘maybe I will be able to feel pleasure again’
If you are able to feel anger and frustration ? would not the opposite emotion be somewhere deep inside you as well?
Have you a loved one or pet? How do you feel about them?

Perhaps try to live a life that is gentle to yourself, and all the creatures big and small
*Have a good night sleep
*Eat a good healthy ‘Balanced’ diet – deficiencies can impact greatly
*And just as an animal shouldn’t be locked up all day and night indoors nor should we be. Exercise and spend time outdoors in the sunshine (try to do this everyday) Vit D and several vital hormones are regulated by it.
* Perhaps read up on electromagnetic radiation and it’s effects on Serotonin, dopamine
* Practice using your 5 senses when outdoors – maybe one of them is more open to feeling pleasure? People tend to not be as aware of smell unless something is very strong, I like sitting with my eyes closed and just breath it all in.
* Explore
*Try to have at least a few close friends that treat you with respect and are good for you – Even cows and chickens have best buddies they hang out with
*Seek help if you have scars from the past (great that you’ve opened up here, but maybe 1:1 with someone who’s better trained then someone like me C: )

And Matt I’ve read several of your helpful advice you’ve given others before I wrote this, and I want you to know that the ones that I read were very well written, insightful and helpful – thank you.

Warmest wishes on your path