I don’t usually post online, but I wanted to share my experience so here I go.

I’m in my late twenties and never had a relationship or a gf until last month when I decided to have a serious relationship with a girl a had been dating for 3-4 months. It was extremely exiting to finally have a relationship and everything went well. It was great spending time together and we were quite intimite with each other. Still I had some doubt when we started the relationship about whether she was the right person, but I came to a conclusion at the time that it is normal to have these kind of feelings also.

Then last friday when we were trying to have sex I suddenly lost interest and could not perform. From this situation a thought rose up in my mind that I don’t have enough feelings for her to be this intimate anymore. I told her little about how I lost interest, but she aswell as I did not think it was a big deal. Still the thought did not leave my mind and when we tried again to have sex the same thing happened that at first it felt good, but slowly the thought that my feelings had changed overcame me and I lost interest again and could not perform. I said something to her at that time like I don’t know if something is wrong with my emotions why I can’t have sex. Still we decided that I would think about it when she went to work for the day and that we would talk about it in the evening.

During that day I was very anxious about the thought that I could not feel the same towards her anymore. I called my mother and told her about the situation and became extremely sad and distressed about the situation. After that call it came to my mind that I might have to end the relationship with her. Still I was extremely conflicted since I still had feelings for her, but felt like they weren’t enough to continue the relationship. Then came evening and I saw her again and briefly flet really good to be with her again. Still the thought was present at the back of my mind and we talked about it. We both cried and decided to give time to think about it and take some pressure out by agreeing to not having sex for a while.

We spend the evening together watched a movie and were close to each other. It felt close to normal, but I still had the though at the back of my mind. We slept at the same bed and when we woke up in the morning the thought became unbearable for me.

She asked If i had something on my mind and I started by saying I have exteemely conflicted feelings on which she replied that she feels the same way. In that moment I broked down crying and said that I would not want anything more to lover at full force but that I just could not. We both cried and talked about the situation for 3 hours and it finally came to a conclusion by me that we would break up.

I don’t know if I’m sharing too much or that my situation is anything like others in this thread. Still I feel extemely conflicted and sad about the situation especially since one week ago I had even said that I loved her and now I could just end it all.

Then I found this thread and felt hopefull that maybe there would be some kind of explanation why my feelings suddenly changed, but I have talked to my loved ones about the situation and alos some peoole outside my family and the consensus from these talks is that I need to trust my feelings that I could not continue the relationship.

Still it hurts so much when I know that I caused her sadness and hurt by doing what I did. I also am terrified that I acted too hastily about the whole situation. But still when I think about that I would contact her I just feel empty since I can’t tell her that everything is fine or somehow changed. The whole situation is just so sad and conflicting I miss her, but somehow it feels that it was the right thing to do. Still I hate it that this is how I feel.

Idk if my situation is similar to others in this thread, but I still wanted to share it cause it feels so absurd to me that I could say that I love her and one week later end it all 🙁