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TeckinParticipantThat’s true. Thank you so much Anita!
TeckinParticipantThank you Anita. I think this is really helpful and insightful. I guess this explains why he had 4 failed relationships in the past and numerous failed dates. He mentioned they were all less than a year and how those girls appeared at the wrong time when he was focused on his career.
I don’t know how else to thank you Anita. Thank you for listening and giving your feedback. I am not crying or anything. I only miss seeing his texts.
TeckinParticipantI don’t know Anita. Sometimes the vibe he gives tells me he wanted more. He told his friends that he was somewhat dating me and negotiating with me to become a gf/bf. I didn’t really understand this part from him. Also, when I mentioned that he was closed off, he changed and tried to open up with me. One time he even video called me when he was out with his friend to show me that he was out with a guy friend and not cheating on me. I don’t understand him fully. I guess I was confused about what he wanted too and what I wanted, so I went with the flow.
TeckinParticipantThanks, Anita. That’s correct. I am looking for a relationship eventually. However, I was finding it hard to open up fully to him, so I told myself maybe it was because I was not ready for a commitment either.
Last week he had a dream that I had an ulterior motive and fooling him into a relationship and getting what I wanted. He said he believed in a nightmare. It bothers me a bit though that he would think like that.
TeckinParticipantHi Anita,
I am not sure why I feel like I want to reach out to him. Is it because I like him? I think we’ve talked to each other a lot now that I miss his text or talking to him. He is a nice person when we are on the phone or in person. When I look back to the days when we were together, I feel like he somewhat likes me but is afraid to commit. I know I shouldn’t reach out to him. I texted him yesterday, thanked him for everything, and said I am also confused and not ready for a commitment.TeckinParticipantTrue. No terrible loss. Thank you so much Anita!
TeckinParticipantHi Anita,
I have an update. So I clearly did not do what you asked because he started opening up to me after our conversations, and I gave him a second chance. But something off about him made me question if I really wanted to be with him. However, he told me that he realized he was not ready for a commitment and would part ways before I could say anything. I felt like an idiot and told myself I should have let him go three weeks back. I don’t feel hurt because I don’t feel anything for him yet. I liked his company though. But I felt stupid for letting him dumped like that. I should have listened to you.
TeckinParticipantHi Anita,
Thank you so much. I get what you are saying now. Everything you said made so much sense. I need to cut him off completely to protect myself from getting hurt. We exchanged a few texts today. I will stop replying to him.
I always doubted him because he didn’t sound genuine enough sometimes, and I told him about it too yesterday during our talk. I think I should have listened to my gut feeling from the beginning.
TeckinParticipantThanks Anita. I agree. It sounds shady for sure. But, I said okay when he suggested us being friends because he seemed like a nice person. He was not pushy and very patient. When I didn’t want to sleep with him, he said he would wait until I was ready. So, I feel there’s a good side of him too. What do you say? Are you suggesting I should cut him off completely?
“I don’t know if that’s such a great thing, is it?” – Do you feel I might land up falling for him? I’ve put him under my friends list now. I don’t think I will see him as a potential date. He kept repeating too that we would be just friends and nothing more, and he told me the darkest secrets because I am his friend now. He suggested me going out and meeting other people as well and the same for him.
TeckinParticipantI think I can. He was the one who brought it up actually and said we could be friends. We talked about what went right and what didn’t in our “getting to know” each other phase. We talked for like 4 hours. For example, I told him how I found him flaky when he responds to my text after few days. He said he didn’t realize texting is essential and will do better whoever he dates next. He said he knew things would not work between us, but he wanted to see where things will go. He also mentioned that he knew what I wanted, but he waited for me to say it.
Our talk yesterday was so casual, and it felt nice because there was no filter. Both of us said what we wanted, and we laughed about it. I told him how I found him so closed off too, and he should loosen up a bit for his next date. In return, he told me one of his darkest secrets yesterday because I am like one of his close guy buddies now he says. It was clear tho that I am in his friend circle now.TeckinParticipantHi Anita,
I had a long chat with him. We both agreed we are not on the same page. He was looking for hook-ups and not commitment as he is not sure what he wants yet in life. We agreed to remain friends.
TeckinParticipantThank you for your help, Anita! I think I will end it with him today. I don’t want to be his hookup-girlfriend.
TeckinParticipantHi Anita,
So we talked the other day. He said he is not sure what he wants and doesn’t think he can commit to a relationship right now. However, he says he wants to sleep with me. He sounds like a player to me, won’t you agree?
TeckinParticipantThank you Anita! I will keep you posted.
TeckinParticipantThanks Anita. Maybe he is not looking for hookups. Perhaps he is not sure what he is looking for with me. He had failed relationships before (like four breakups). Could this be the issue? Also, he is unsure if he wants kids because he was never a good kid to his parents.
Maybe I should give him more time? like meet him few more times to get to know more about him?
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