Thanks Anita, I will do this.

One thing i would like your opinion on is whether I should message this girl again. It ended amicably and we said we would stay friends but we haven’t spoke since. I am having a bit of a social media detox and don’t have any of the apps on my  phone so will not see any updates etc about her or when the baby maybe born. My account is still active though.

Shoukd i let her know this so she doesn’t think I am rude or I should not even worry about it and just get on with things? I haven’t heard from her at all like I said and I’m sure she isn’t worrying about me.

Thanks Anita, Your replies always do help add some perspective. I think that the daunting thing for me is that I live alone so it is the worry of overthinking and fear of being alone that perhaps bothers me.

I will ask for clarification on how she didn’t know etc but I have no reason not to believe her. She seems a very genuine person and was clearly upset when she told me and still shocked about the situation.

Hi Elena,

I think you are right. I sent her a message this morning to see how her week is going etc.

If I hear nothing back I will move on and delete her details etc.

I do think I will tell her that she should have said she wasn’t interested rather than just going quiet/cold. I think the time we spent together etc warranted that and it is just the decent thing to do and what I would have done to her.

A little gutted about it as we got on so well I thought and there is no real reason for what has happened. She was so keen to begin with and I didn’t change and was always nice to her so not sure what I did wrong.

I think those questions would be better in person would they not.

I probably should have rose these issues on the last date.

Hi Anita,

I sent her a message yesterday and had no response. It was just a normal message mentioning something we spoke about on the last date.

In my mind I feel like I should wait to see if she contacts me now. I only say this because if she doesn’t I know that she has definitely got cold feet about something. I would honestly prefer her to just say if she wasn’t interested. I think 7 + dates and spending the night together warrants that but that’s just me. Apologies for the rant bust wanted to get it of my chest.

Do you think this is the right way to go or should I give it a few more days and reach out?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hi Eliana,

No, when she came over we had such a great evening and she stayed the night. We went for some lunch the next day before she had to drive home. After that we didn’t see each other for nearly 3 weeks because of work and other plans (weddings, family visiting etc). It was during this break, the messages started to ease off. I did ask to have a phone call one evening but her sister was over for a few days from abroad and she wanted to enjoy her time with her so couldn’t speak.

We then had a meal last week which again went really well like all of our dates and we both had a great time. We kissed at the end of the night like all of other previous dates. Again though, I think it will be a few weeks before we see each other again because of work commitments etc. I don’t want to overthink her not messaging lots but obviously want to have some form of contact as would really like to see her again.

Quick Update:

We met for dinner on Thursday as she was working near me. Like all of our other dates it went really well and we had a good time, kissed at the end of the date etc.

She is very busy again with work for the next few weeks and has a wedding etc so not sure when we will see each other again but we both agreed that we would. Since then we have messaged briefly and it was me who sent the first message. Should I reach out again in a few days and see if she is ok or wait to see if she reaches out to me?

I guess I just don’t want to come across a bit needy and keen but on the flip side I do really like spending time with her. I know the practicalities with the distance etc aren’t the best so am also wary of setting myself up for disappointment in the long run.

Also, should I still speak to other people or not? We haven’t spoken about anything like that so I have no idea whether or not she is. Perhaps she is and that is why her messages etc are now less frequent.

Any thoughts would be appreciated?