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August 12, 2018 at 2:53 pm #221249
I’ve spent the best part of a decade battling with my self esteem and working on myself to be this ‘quality’ person…I’m not a toxic person but instead suffer from a lot of insecurities yet… I have always been true to myself during every relationship, serious or not, and have been able to overcome the heartbreak from these ‘flings’ through my own resilience and never by running to the arms or seeking reassurance from someone else that would help soften the pain and hurt.
Not having been in a serious relationship does not mean you don’t experience the same agony or pain when it comes to not being able to be with the person who you’d give your all to, but who won’t do the same for you.
Please do not question my quality as a person.July 26, 2018 at 3:14 pm #218885
I had been going through this very recently and am finally starting to feel like each day now, a little more distant from the pain and hurt. There is no concrete time frame for how long you will feel like this however it will end, I promise. You just need to stay strong and try your hardest to keep looking forward because after break ups your head is so stuck in the past, it blinds you of the possibilities and potential your future has to offer!
As long as you separate yourself from him in ways you can control – not calling, texting or meeting up with him – you are doing the best you can. It’s ok to feel how you are feeling, because this is what will make you stronger when you get through it and come out the other side – knowing your real self worth and realising that he does not define that… only you can.
I had felt totally crushed – pathetic, not good enough, ashamed for loving someone so much who did not deserve it. And even though these feelings have not totally disappeared, I can see that it’s ok to have felt like that, because it allowed me to come to the realisation that this wasn’t true, and that’s the bit that matters to me.
You are heartbroken and allow yourself to feel the hurt however don’t let it consume you – I felt like even when I did go out with friends to enjoy myself or was laughing about something, that I was lying to myself as what I felt inside was torture and such sadness, any happiness I felt was false. However it helped even though it felt the opposite at the time. These are the hardest times but I promise you, this will make you stronger and you’ll grow so much from it. xxJuly 20, 2018 at 1:14 am #217799
Thank you so much for this response, I think the ‘never give too much of yourself to someone who gives so little in return’ hit home, and I do think this experience will help me find greater self-worth. I think it always feel like you are going through it alone and nearly embarrassed for feeling the way I do, but it really helps to know other people have felt the same way, and it isn’t a permanent feeling.
Thank you so much xxMarch 6, 2018 at 11:24 am #196143
He still wants me to visit next month, so I feel like it wasn’t just a quick sporadic idea for him to invite me. We aren’t speaking as much but I also don’t want to keep in contact everyday because it would be to pressurising on the situation . I just still feel very insecure however because I know my feelings go very deep and I suppose I have to deal with the idea that I could get hurt if it falls flat. However I think I need to take that risk.. I just hope it doesnt
- This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by tonorli.