Breakup

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This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 9 months ago by Prash.

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July 26, 2018 at 9:30 am #218803

Ankita
Participant

I am going through a breakup phase which just doesn’t seem to end. I push myself to feel slightly happy but not fully from within. It still feels gloomy sometimes and the nostalgia doesn’t seem to end and it eats me inside. I feel disrespected, unworthy, have started having complexes about myself. He’s made me feel irrelevant and useless. It sometimes feel I just don’t want to move and be happy. Due to which I feel unworthy in every respect.

July 26, 2018 at 10:05 am #218847
Julie
Participant
Ankita,

How old are you? Out of curiosity. Secondly, you should never determine your worth based off how someone else perceives it. “Your perception of me is a reflection of you.” Your ex probably feels worthless which is why he is hurting you. He is toxic for you. Block him if you have to. I know it’s hard turning away from someone you still love but you need to worry about YOU. Put Ankita first. Breakups are the worst. The pain feels inevitable because it is. You cannot escape a heartbreak. You must grow from it. What you are experiencing is grief and with time that grief will blossom into growth. Have faith and trust in the universe. But in order for you to move past that state of mind you are in, you have to force yourself out of it. Step out of your comfort zone. Go out with some friends, go on dating apps. How long ago was this breakup?
- This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Julie.
July 26, 2018 at 11:37 am #218859

Anonymous
Inactive

Ankita,

You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are perfect in every way! Every day get up, look yourself in the mirror, and repeat these words: “Ankita I love you, I forgive you, and you are going to do amazing things today!!” It will not rain forever, when the emotions come, feel them, and let them go. If you need to cry, do it, but don’t stay there long!

Natalie

July 26, 2018 at 3:14 pm #218885

tonorli
Participant

Hi Ankita,

I had been going through this very recently and am finally starting to feel like each day now, a little more distant from the pain and hurt. There is no concrete time frame for how long you will feel like this however it will end, I promise. You just need to stay strong and try your hardest to keep looking forward because after break ups your head is so stuck in the past, it blinds you of the possibilities and potential your future has to offer!

As long as you separate yourself from him in ways you can control – not calling, texting or meeting up with him – you are doing the best you can. It’s ok to feel how you are feeling, because this is what will make you stronger when you get through it and come out the other side – knowing your real self worth and realising that he does not define that… only you can.

I had felt totally crushed – pathetic, not good enough, ashamed for loving someone so much who did not deserve it. And even though these feelings have not totally disappeared, I can see that it’s ok to have felt like that, because it allowed me to come to the realisation that this wasn’t true, and that’s the bit that matters to me.

You are heartbroken and allow yourself to feel the hurt however don’t let it consume you – I felt like even when I did go out with friends to enjoy myself or was laughing about something, that I was lying to myself as what I felt inside was torture and such sadness, any happiness I felt was false. However it helped even though it felt the opposite at the time. These are the hardest times but I promise you, this will make you stronger and you’ll grow so much from it. xx

July 27, 2018 at 9:55 am #218943

Kaleel
Participant

So my gf and i have had history because we’ve known each other for 2 years we dated and broke up because the distance and became friends 6 months after because she realized no one cares or listens to her. After a couple months we kept progressing and eventually got back together this year March. We were going perfectly but i’ve always known that she felt she was destructive and would hurt me because of the way she thinks but she doesn’t even understand. She loves me and cares for me and doesn’t want to hurt me because she’s said that i am the most sweet, kind , respectful, honest and loyal bf she’s ever had but she feels as though she can never be good enough for me even though i don’t feel like that. We broke up recently because i caught her talking to her ex because she says i didn’t connect with her on interests and values and she wanted a friend and he reached out which i completely idiotic especially because he’s a manipulative person and toxic and of course as a narcissistic person would hate to lose when i found out and she told him to leave he disrespected her by digging up the worst things he found out about her and left. I forgave her and it started to be more stable for a while until she calls me in the night crying telling me she feels alone and that no one shares her interests and no one cares. i do find her interesting interesting lol but i’ve never done them with her which is my fault but she never communicated with me that she wanted to do anything. When we hang out we usually just hang out watch a movie , go to a park or like just cuddling or obviously sex but she never asks .. if she did i would willingly do it but she doesn’t. she feels that she would be forcing me but if i didn’t want to i wouldn’t do it. her interests are being vegan, nature and buddhism (she picked it up last year) and music and art and i love music and art but she never converses about it so how am i suppose to read her mind. So she decided that night that she can’t make me happy and that “bad thoughts” in her head make her feel like she’ll hurt me because she can’t be enough for a great guy like me as if i’m some king. i’ve been also trying to improve myself because i was kinda depressed a lot and i’ve changed from since we were just friends but i guess it wasn’t enough. She knows i love her and care for her with my entire soul and body but she just can’t shake the bad things that she feels. Maybe she’s lost the spark but that usually comes and goes with everyone. People usually regret leaving a nice guy but idk. She says she wants to be close friends like before because she doesn’t want to lose me but i don’t want to be stringed along. We’ve been getting along but sometimes i feel like i’m going no where and now she says i’m suffocating her and idk how i am when i’m just being supportive and letting her know she can fight the battle with herself. maybe she’ll stay but i can’t tell at all but she really does love me and hates to hurt me and cares about me. i know i have to give her space and everything but she doesn’t want me to “go ghost” and be fake with her .. literally no one else loves her like i do. idk what to do anymore except try to help in any way possible and be there for her. i just want to be with her because she’s literally my everything and i’ve never felt this way in any other relationship. she wishes she could accept and cherish the fact that i’m the best guy ever be used i adore her but she just feels like a bad person. i feel like i’m going no where but then sometimes i feel like i’m getting to her. there’s no arguments or anything just confusion.

would appreciate some some insight on how i could possible help her or make her feel more secure with me because i’ve been looking into her interests and starting conversations and doing it as well and i’ve been changing my attitude towards things as well. she wants me to be happy by myself and be more independent which i am starting to but she was a part of my happiness so i can’t just let her go and lose what we had/have especially since she doesn’t either.

thank you for your help or anything you may have :’)

July 29, 2018 at 1:08 am #219185
Ankita
Participant
Hi All,

Thanks for replying I really wanted to hear such words from someone! 🙂

The support and kind words actually helped me rethink about the situation

Julie as you asked, I’m 23, and it has been 6 months since the breakup.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Ankita.
July 29, 2018 at 1:32 am #219189

Prash
Participant

Dear Ankita,

Good to read that you are rethinking the situation.

If you are comfortable, could you share the ways in which you are coping.

Take care
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