Ankita,

You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are perfect in every way! Every day get up, look yourself in the mirror, and repeat these words: “Ankita I love you, I forgive you, and you are going to do amazing things today!!” It will not rain forever, when the emotions come, feel them, and let them go. If you need to cry, do it, but don’t stay there long!

Natalie

So my gf and i have had history because we’ve known each other for 2 years we dated and broke up because the distance and became friends 6 months after because she realized no one cares or listens to her. After a couple months we kept progressing and eventually got back together this year March. We were going perfectly but i’ve always known that she felt she was destructive and would hurt me because of the way she thinks but she doesn’t even understand. She loves me and cares for me and doesn’t want to hurt me because she’s said that i am the most sweet, kind , respectful, honest and loyal bf she’s ever had but she feels as though she can never be good enough for me even though i don’t feel like that. We broke up recently because i caught her talking to her ex because she says i didn’t connect with her on interests and values and she wanted a friend and he reached out which i completely idiotic especially because he’s a manipulative person and toxic and of course as a narcissistic person would hate to lose when i found out and she told him to leave he disrespected her by digging up the worst things he found out about her and left. I forgave her and it started to be more stable for a while until she calls me in the night crying telling me she feels alone and that no one shares her interests and no one cares. i do find her interesting interesting lol but i’ve never done them with her which is my fault but she never communicated with me that she wanted to do anything. When we hang out we usually just hang out watch a movie , go to a park or like just cuddling or obviously sex but she never asks .. if she did i would willingly do it but she doesn’t. she feels that she would be forcing me but if i didn’t want to i wouldn’t do it. her interests are being vegan, nature and buddhism (she picked it up last year) and music and art and i love music and art but she never converses about it so how am i suppose to read her mind. So she decided that night that she can’t make me happy and that “bad thoughts” in her head make her feel like she’ll hurt me because she can’t be enough for a great guy like me as if i’m some king. i’ve been also trying to improve myself because i was kinda depressed a lot and i’ve changed from since we were just friends but i guess it wasn’t enough. She knows i love her and care for her with my entire soul and body but she just can’t shake the bad things that she feels. Maybe she’s lost the spark but that usually comes and goes with everyone. People usually regret leaving a nice guy but idk. She says she wants to be close friends like before because she doesn’t want to lose me but i don’t want to be stringed along. We’ve been getting along but sometimes i feel like i’m going no where and now she says i’m suffocating her and idk how i am when i’m just being supportive and letting her know she can fight the battle with herself. maybe she’ll stay but i can’t tell at all but she really does love me and hates to hurt me and cares about me. i know i have to give her space and everything but she doesn’t want me to “go ghost” and be fake with her .. literally no one else loves her like i do.  idk what to do anymore except try to help in any way possible and be there for her. i just want to be with her because she’s literally my everything and i’ve never felt this way in any other relationship. she wishes she could accept and cherish the fact that i’m the best guy ever be used i adore her but she just feels like a bad person. i feel like i’m going no where but then sometimes i feel like i’m getting to her. there’s no arguments or anything just confusion.

would appreciate some some insight on how i could possible help her or make her feel more secure with me because i’ve been looking into her interests and starting conversations and doing it as well and i’ve been changing my attitude towards things as well. she wants me to be happy by myself and be more independent which i am starting to but she was a part of my happiness so i can’t just let her go and lose what we had/have especially since she doesn’t either.

thank you for your help or anything you may have :’)

Dear Ankita,

Good to read that you are rethinking the situation.

If you are comfortable, could you share the ways in which you are coping.

Take care