I’m probably going to tell you something you’re not going to like. Don’t put your career in front of your personal life but still make it a priority of some sort. I too spent my 20s building a career. It was my priority and I enjoyed it so much I missed out on a lot in my personal life. I’m in my very early 30s now and have all the things that I wanted to have and nothing I actually need. If I could travel back in time and talk to my younger self I’d tell him to just be free of expectations or having the need to reach some level of acceptance. Because the truth is I’d have been where I am now anyway maybe 6 or 7 years later, but I’d be happier knowing I didn’t miss out on anything in the process. So if you feel like doing a stunt in the name of love – do it. Seriously. If you have your head screwed onto your shoulders the right way then your career ain’t going anywhere.

Hi Brav3,

You are moving on buddy. It’s a long process or can be long for some but you are moving on. It can take another 3 months or a little longer. It took me a year until the swings ranging from acceptance and peace to anger, grief and shock stopped hurting. It’s almost like a switch really. One day you’ll wake up and realize that this person has no more impact on your life. I think one thing to pay attention to as you’re going through this is that the simple fact that you’re struggling with this and it’s so difficult on you is a beautiful thing. It means you really loved. It means you’ve let this person into your heart. You gave it all. And this is beautiful. Yes it’s sad that it didn’t work out but your heart is one to cherish and you’ll meet someone who will see and appreciate it. I’d rather feel this way than walk away feeling nothing at all.

You obviously want commitment from this guy. Otherwise you wouldn’t be on here asking what to do. My question is why do you let this pussy, and yes he is a damn pussy, be intimate with you without commitment? Don’t you think you deserve better?

I’m not by any means a dietitian, but I’ve spent quite a bit of time around fitness trainers and have trained a couple of friends myself. I can tell you that having healthy metabolism should be the first step to healthy immune system. Metabolism plays vital role in cell activation which allows your immune system to react quickly and fight off pathogens. Metabolism can be boosted by good diet AND regular exercise.

I would say absolutely eat meat. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this. Meat has been the staple of our diet since we were running around buck naked with a spear. The reason people shun away from meat these days (outside of ethical reasons) is because the growth hormones that are given to animals are often linked to cancer. However, if you a) don’t eat processed meat b) try to buy from local farmers c) cook it right (overcooked meat becomes carcinogenic) you’ll have yourself a healthy source of proteins and nutrients. Do some research on this. It’s quite easy.

Here is the diet that i’d suggest. Note, you don’t have to eat the same thing every day. Substitute with whatever you’d like that falls into the same foods category:

Breakfast – Egg whites omelette. I also add a dozen nuts afterwards. A cup of non-concentrated juice. Sometimes I make oatmeal instead of an omelette.
Brunch – I either do a protein shake or eat a protein bar. If it’s a protein shake i’d typically grab some low-cal rice cakes (not zero cal – those are terrible!) Eat some fruits too!
Lunch – Grilled chicken breast with broccoli, cilantro, cucumbers, tomatoes (pile on your veggies here). I also add brown rice, quinoa or sweet potatoes every once in a while.
Post-lunch (2 hours after lunch) – peanut butter sandwich with some low-cal bread or some nuts. I also make another shake here or grab another protein bar. And fruits! Some kind of fruit with greek yogurt mix works great here too!
Dinner – I make a turkey breast or cut up lean beef. Add asparagus and other veggies here.
Supper (?) – I make some tilapia with asparagus and veggies.

I usually grill meat in the summer (electric grill). Again, make sure you understand how to grill each type of meat. In the winter time or when it’s super cold out, I usually use one of those fastcooker things. It doesn’t matter what you use. As long as you do it right.

That’s a lot of eating, i know. But that’s really what you want to do. You want to consume something every 2 – 2.5 hours so that you’re never hungry and don’t end up having 1 or 2 huge meals. You’ll quickly notice that your tummy never feels bloated. This acclimates your metabolism and allows it to burn calories more efficiently. Veggies and fruits will also help your metabolism and blood circulation (especially broccoli and asparagus). Finally try to exercise as much as you can. Even a 15-minute walk is enough. This will help you maintain healthy metabolic processes.

Almost forgot. Don’t forget your vitamins as was already mentioned by another poster. Make sure you take general supplements in addition to those suggested for your gender.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by TriangleSun.

Vinni, she’s told you loud and clear what the problem is. You can’t really do anything in a situation like this. You just have to accept. Happens to everyone, buddy. You’re not the only one, trust me.

Here is some constructive criticism for you. I get the feeling from your post that you’ve been kind of “coasting” with this girl. No stable job. Jumping from school to school to be with her. That’s not cool man. This doesn’t sound like you’re taking care of yourself. You can’t be like that in a relationship. In fact, you can’t be like that at all! You need to have solid ground to stand on. You don’t want the other person to constantly support you. It’s a burden. I think this is a good wake up call for you. Use this time to figure out what you want out of YOUR life. Become the person you’d want others to see when they look at you.

What you’re going through is very painful, but it’s probably one of the best lessons life can throw at you. Use this time to reflect on 6 years the two of you spent together. Understand what you did wrong and what you can do to not make the same mistakes again. Understand what you want out of life and out of your next relationship. This almost sounds bad, but i think everyone should go through at least one heartbreak in the life. Hopefully sooner than later. It’s a real eye-opening experience and once you get past it and one day find yourself in a much better position (and you will) you’ll be thanking heavens that it happened.

I wish you luck and please post again and share how you’re doing.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by TriangleSun.

You felt guilt because of your inability to give love he deserved. You had no choice but to leave and not drag this man along and thus make the situation worse. When you made your decision you felt relief. All of these things mean something and that is you probably did the right thing given the circumstances. At the very least, I think you felt relief because you knew you did the right thing. Yet as time went on, you started missing him and how he was treating you. When you gave into these thoughts, the doubts set in. All of a sudden your mind started racing in the opposite direction.

Sometimes our mind is consumed with anger or sadness or the emotional turmoil imposed by something or someone. Whatever it is, our decisions in situations like this are influenced by the immediate position we find ourselves in. While you can toil away at this stuff as time passes, you have to realize that you could not have done any better. And while you are now finding yourself in doubt and regret, I suggest you place yourself back into that period 4 months ago and evaluate what happened. Figure out why you left. What wasn’t enough. You need to just calm yourself down and reflect on this before continuing to dwell on the thought of getting back with this man because there is a very good chance that if you do you will end up leaving again.

So think about that before trying to get him back. If he is in fact with someone new, I’d recommend not to disturb his new relationship plainly out of respect. He may be very happy with this girl and she happy with him despite of what your mutual friends think of their relationship.

Remember that you did what you felt like you had to do and you should not ignore this as you’re looking back at the situation. I wish you luck!!

Have you tried sitting down with her and telling her what you just told us?