Dear Anita (I just remembered reading that you prefer the small ‘a’),

A follow up post. I was reading a post by John “Is this it?” and was very interested in the advise you shared with him. If you don’t mind, I copied your last post here because I would like to discuss further with you (without high jacking John’s space).

You wrote “It is my experience that most of what we are is automatic, a quick and automatic reaction to existing pathways that are triggered, again and again, by people we interact with and life situations.”

This is what I meant by ‘I can’t seem to stop doing the wrong things long enough to start doing the right things’. My thoughts, actions and reactions seem to on autopilot.

You also wrote “to be authentic is to get a sense of distance from existing pathways, being able to notice them, identify them and instead of being identified with them, being able to CHOOSE from a distance. To choose before drowning in those pathways.”

This is what I want for myself. I want to be authentic, who I am..the good, the bad and the ugly parts of me, and not fear being judged or rejected by others. I have moments (usually when anger over rides my fears) when I am fully present and self aware without worrying about what others think. In these moments, I feel free, unbuttoned. But those moments are fleeting and then I go back into hiding mode.

Do you think it’s possible to reach a state of consistent being that is fully present and authentic? If you’ve been able to accomplish this, please share how.

I’ll continue to follow John’s posts, as I think he and I are seeking similar information.

And if I haven’t told you lately, thank you for giving your time, compassion, wisdom and truth, not only to me but to all the others that post here. You are truly a special person to give so much of yourself and I’ve yet to see you ask anything for yourself. So, thank you!!

~Shipp