Yeah, those feelings that I described and that you felt with your ex are either there or they aren’t. They aren’t just something that develops in the absence of troubles like I think you were hoping they would with your girlfriend. Instead, they are inherent and intuitive, it’s just a special type of connection that you would feel IN SPITE of all of the other troubles.  Even aside from that, couples can be compatible with lots of other things, but you and your girlfriend have so many current INcompatibilities (like her kids and all of the troubles that are result of her financial irresponsibility, for example) that it would really take some big, special-connection compatibilities to make up for it, just like you said… if you had felt that intense love connection, all of this stuff would most likely bother you less or you’d at least be happier in general because you’d have that intense love feeling. So that’s basically what I was getting at there.

It sounds like your expectations of what would happen kind of got the best of you, but that’s the biggest problem with expectations… they aren’t always right. Those are the things that often let us down. Try to forgive both of you, though, for not knowing what would really happen when you made all of these different moves that you thought at the time would help.

That’s awful about her pay. I would have her see how soon they increase the pay, too. Also, has she looked into consolidation loans at all? Sometimes you can get enough to put everything together and lower interest plus a little extra that would give her enough for like two months rent on an apartment.

Waiting until the end of the month sounds like a good plan, too. She should have her taxes back by then too, right? In the meantime, though, I would have a talk with her about boundaries right away. I get where her insecurity is coming from, but it’s misplaced right now because your ex flat-out told her she was “done” and you haven’t heard from your ex since. You aren’t having an affair behind your girlfriend’s back and you have every right to your privacy either way. So I would just let her know that her behavior with that is driving a wedge between you two and you won’t stand for it. She either has to give you some trust or you need to part ways right then and there.

And yes, I absolutely, 100% think you’ll forget about your ex once you find a woman who meets your needs. For sure. Especially if she’s a mature and responsible woman. Quite frankly, that’d be even better than your ex has been!