Anita,

i think you are exactly on point.

Apple Tree,

just saw your question “how have you seen your answers to questions?”

I get answers by simply asking then releasing it and trusting the answers will come in due time or trusting the resources to research or delve deeper into new information will be delivered. When I look too hard for answers it’s harder to distinguish what’s real and what’s trauma lens. So I found trusting and releasing works.

i also re-read where you said the person you love doesn’t love you anymore or doesn’t feel same way bc he’s dated more people. Our situations are very similar. Me relating to the person you loved. He does still love you , people who love you enough to push you to grow don’t just stop loving you. But sometimes it’s easier to brush it off or bury it beneath surface in order to move on.

When we feel people so deeply, and are highly connected such as me and L or you and your person. Those intense emotions are hard to deal with bc we care so deeply for one another. It’s extremely painful to be in separation, it’s extremely painful to witness someone we love be at odds or struggling or not choosing what they desire. It’s extremely painful to find someone we feel a deep connection for and that we feel we are supposed to be with, not choose us back and it’s even more painful when we know they like us back and feel same but still don’t choose to take a leap. As it validates , “this is real , this is my soulmate and a blessing yet – they aren’t going along with the plan and I feel cheated.” That’s how I felt with L, and I was very resentful and hurt . So it’s not that he doesn’t love you. He just did what he had to do, being so sensitive and empathic , in order to move on.

we create intimacy . And we can recreate it with others . They may not be the ppl who initially sparked our flame. But as we heal our attachment trauma, we can find relatively descent partners.