Hi,

just randomly reading posts posts that I can relate to. Popping in sharing my two cents .

I used to isolate myself and then tell myself that I was so different that no one could relate to me. And this would become a cycle of isolation and I wouldn’t open up because “no one would understand.” And though I am very unique and complex, and have a complex set of experiences , mindsets, traumas etc – even in that there are people who can relate. And to go a step further , relationships are about learning and so for people who don’t have my exact experiences, people can learn a lot from them. I just had to learn how to find people who appreciated them and learn how not to judge myself when others didn’t .

I was bullied in school and didn’t realize until later in life how much it impacted how I would isolate or my tolerance for people. So I’d isolate from people who hurt me once and kind of have this black and white thinking. Instead of thinking about life and people as a giant playground. You know ? On playgrounds when we are toddlers we get exposed to everything so we can learn. Dirt, obstacle courses, and other children. And we get dirty, fall off swings , bump into other kids and we just pick ourselves up and learn from the mistakes or how to adjust to the obstacles on the playground and try again.. I’m very sensitive and always in my mind, picking apart my actions and replaying situations. I fantasize a lot to , to get away from things I don’t want to think about or feel. But I also know my fantasizing is just apart of my nature. I am a dream and nothing is wrong with that. I create . I can even tell from your writing , you’re a really good writer. I bet you’d be amazing at writing poetry. Youre a very deep thinker and the other side of that may be that you feel things so deeply and then the ocd makes you pick it apart maybe and it makes you feel weird for being so conscious of these thoughts.

But we all think about weird shit. A lot of people have a lot of stuff going on in their heads that they just don’t share with people or they are not as aware or conscious of. I too sometimes get caught in the cycle of over thinking what I’m over thinking.

In terms of sexuality . I’m lgbt woman so, I had to learn to accept myself and the things I like without much judgment. And the more I surrounded myself with information and people who also had different sexualities and interests I realized I wasn’t so weird for my “kink” or likes or thoughts .  And even if they were weird, I had to just accept that. I’m different and that’s okay . People who are different add value to this world . I liked reading what you had to share , you seem very deep so. Yea don’t beat yourself up.

take care  . That’s my two cents that nobody asked for lol