Wow @NBC that’s a lot of analysis your mind has done.

The fact of the matter is, like many intelligent women, you at some point went against your instincts, the red flags, and got caught up in his emotional woes wanting to probably do what women do instinctively “fix”, which in the end blinded you and lead to you becoming attached. Once those feelings arise it can make it very difficult to let go.

Whereas he like a typical man was able to compartmentalise. He took advantage of the best of both worlds. He didn’t stop to think of the implications it would have on you by sharing such deep things. This is normally done in intimate relationships.

So no I don’t think you were wrong you did have a deep meaningful experience but that was because you were being sincere in your intentions whereas he was insincere so couldn’t.

He led you on and as noted earlier, he awakened feelings in you knowing that it was going no where, he took full advantage of your support and embarked on an emotional affair whilst still married. He should never have been looking if he had unresolved issues because like I said you can never really give to someone new if you’re stuck in the past.

It’s awful and bad enough when a man who is hung up on his ex does it but he did it whilst actively married!!!

That shows his character, he was not worthy of your precious time and attention.

The meeting was the best thing you did for yourself, we could have told you several times but you hearing it for yourself was needed.

Who cares if he thinks you’re under his spell, as long as you did this for your own healing.

If his ego is that big he is assuming that you are under his spell, rather than reflecting on what hurt and damage he caused by his actions then that’s another reason for you being well rid!!

Learning an ex is in a new relationship goes a few ways; if you genuinely care you’re happy for them or you feel jealousy it wasn’t you or you reach a point of indifference and don’t give AF!

All three responses are normal so I’m not surprised you’re curious but honestly don’t worry about it. He’s not your person so your person is out there pour energy into finding him if a relationship is what you seek.

The meeting will have made all your emotions raw and it is human to hurt after realising he really wasn’t into you yet gladly used you. I felt very much the same with my ex. But I guarantee you it will give you closure and in time you’ll realise you are 100% better off without that immature selfish man.

Move on and close that chapter with him for good. Don’t waste anymore time analysing it. If he comes back, don’t entertain it. Work on you and your own needs.

You deserve more, he will never be happy deep down unless he does major work and I doubt he has. He seems to be relationship hopping trying to fill whatever emptiness is within him by any means. Tbh most men are incapable of undertaking the growth @Tim1 and @Dannydan did.

I’m sorry he didn’t offer you a truer apology in person or accountability like they did. However he offered you insight into what he was and is – he isn’t worthy of you.

You deserve a man who knows what he wants and will move heaven and earth for you and vice versa. Anything less is not worth it.

You can equally be fulfilled and content without a man. It’s not the be all or end all so don’t compare to others. Many people are never really happy within and think relationships will fill that void but they just find they are unhappy still.

If you need any other advice let me know but I’m not frequenting TB as I was but happy to always support anyone x