@Rhaenys you’re welcome but it’s you who has done all the hard work. So be good to yourself and do cheerlead your progress.

Sorry I assumed you’re on tinder because you eventually want to meet up in person once the restriction lift. However if it’s just virtual company you’re enjoying and you’re both on the same page then there’s no harm in it.

How did I get to where I am? I let go. I stopped trying to control things, I stopped letting my fears convince me that it was never going to happen or that I had a time limit.

I learned about my needs , and now know exactly the type of relationship I deserve and want.

I reframed my thoughts. I lent on my spiritual side and it gave me hope if it’s meant to be it will be. I started just enjoying relationships for what they were rather than letting my mind run ahead of itself. When you’re present and just accept the outcome you feel more yourself and less likely to self sabotage. My new bf I just let it happen after discussing our needs and we were pretty much aligned, we started off talking then sharing more time in each others company and it naturally progressed from there. I think forming a strong foundation of friendship and communication is better than rushing in and being swept away by infatuation. My main concern was if something went wrong how would it impact my friendship with his sister who is my bestie. I think just the reassurance from her and knowing that I’m passed the phase of getting high of the drama. I want stability so I invest in that. If it works great if not then I’m sure there will be some meaning in it and I’m already aware of the mistakes I don’t want to repeat.

I think the fact my ex and I are finally in a good place really helps. It was a combination of acceptance, growing up, learning to be present. Like I said to @Jay2023 if I was single i have got myself to a place where I am very happy. Thats down to using the past year to do a lot of inwardly healing after the ex and I had our final heart to heart. It cleared the air. Everything was left on the table. Last week I bumped into his mum and she said he completed a very personal goal one we had often discussed and I felt so much happiness for him and I spoke to him.  Relationships don’t have to be toxic forever and I’m glad that after the amount we invested it isn’t all wasted and lost. That’s all you can hope for.