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Reply To: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up

HomeForumsRelationshipsTrying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break upReply To: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up

#378998
Danny
Participant

@Jay2023

The fact you’re seeking help is a massive step bro. I’m proud of you lad that you want to take control and get to that place. Admitting there’s an issue is the start of getting better. Although I’ve made strides, talking to you has actually made me realise I don’t think I’ve explored and fully dealt with my own spiral that was triggered by ‘A’  and my best friends betrayal – I think that’s what caused my outburst with ‘B’ and I don’t want to like yourself, to suffer for it and ruin my own happiness. Initially it took my brother’s illness to come back to reality and begin to deal with things and then my angel ‘B’ crossed my path and really flipped a switch for me. I’m not fully there still work in progress and I hope she doesn’t give up on me now.

What was the event that went wrong – it sounds like a relationship? Do you believe it was that event that triggered it or have you always felt sadness and loss of interest? That feeling of lostness I found was because I spend so long making others happy, appeasing them and contorting to fit them. I didn’t know who I was. When you find yourself and start being authentic to that the grey clouds begin to lift.

Do you have a cheerleader in your life, someone who really gets you and encourages you. Or have you had anyone like that? Without that we can only hear our own inner critic, that voice can be deafening. It causes you to manifest what you believe about yourself – self fulfilling prophecy.

So having someone who is really supportive and encouraging can make a world of difference and doesn’t seem like the relationships you chose offered that. Instead you chose to keep yourself in toxic ones that reinforced your view of being unworthy I bet!

From what you said, it seems like you are saying you end friendzoning yourself bro?

I’m glad you’re starting to accept your compassion and caring nature as a strength. There’s a lot of toxic masculinity about so once you start to accept yourself you’ll get your moment!