@Dannydan that’s karma for mocking those ladies literary efforts and feelings. I kid! Lol. Writing is very therapeutic for some especially women and it indicates they are engaged in conversation but like everything there needs to be a balance!

So much can be misconstrued in written text without tone and body cues. Nothing beats a good old fashioned heart to heart in person.

I want to say I’m here for you and @Jay2023 (I got invested in your boys journeys ☺) and sorry if it seems I’m distancing myself or slowly fading out. It’s not that it is just difficult to tell if you boys want me to continue conversation or just reply when toy need only. It’s no fun taking time out to put a post together and it’s not what you needed. So that’s why I said it would be easier to just message me and tag me so I’m not looking out for updates and I’m not annoying you or @Jay2023.

Anyway, Oh Danny, that sounds like a very emotional reunion. Sometimes following the arbitrary rules is needed and sometimes there’s a time to do what is instinctive.

I think after the events of Monday you instinctively knew that leaving it longer was not in either of your best interests or what she really needed. That proves you do know her better than you give yourself credit for. You also recognised he behaviour was out of character so although you made mistakes don’t be so self deprecating.

I think us women are wired completely differently to you men and it requires effort and patience to figure each other out. We will fail our partners in our relationships, even when we don’t mean to do it.

Sometimes, when we fail, there is no immediate fix. We can only recognise where we’ve gone wrong by being self aware, be humble enough to reach out apologise and make amends and most of all work to be better the next time. Both of you definitely are willing to work at it, you respect your commitment to one another and that’s what will make your love grow stronger.

You’re so blessed to have a partner who forgives your shortcomings, and still loves you. It is up to you to not take that for granted. Keep showing her in ways she appreciates how much she means.

I think the reason why you have managed to sustain this relationship without sex, is because she really understands your love language. Remember you thought it was sex you needed but you must realise now physical touch independent of sex is highly effective – so kissing, cuddles, the way she holds your hand is actually what is meaningful to you and she expresses that so well to you. I think you need to really understand what her love language is too. It might be a combo but explore it in order to express your appreciation in the best possible way.

I understand you don’t want to reveal what ‘B’ has told you in confidence but reading between the lines, I sense that something is not well with her and I’m so sorry to hear that and will say a little prayer for you guys. All you can do now is be strong Danny. She needs you.

I get your disinterest in weddings, I know you men don’t understand the fuss but for her try a little harder, do something special that she isn’t expecting or has arranged herself. It will make her feel you are invested.

Also the family thing, I think you’re letting insecurities overrule here. You feel you’re not good enough for her still so it wouldn’t surprise me if you feel pressured to perform in front of them. Just be you. She chose you and she clearly accepts all of you. Let go of the idea you’re not enough otherwise you will do what you did the first time just sabotage it. You can’t keep expecting her to reassure you because it will one day come to a head if you’re doing it excessively. Resentment sets in. You want her to feel like a partner not a therapist or mother. So I think you should take a leaf out of @Jay2023 book and get therapy on this issue and dealing with fully healing the wound left by your ex and ex mate.

I’m sure @Jay2023 can cast his own light and offer a male perspective and ideas. If I think of anything else I’ll let you know.

Don’t hold onto this mistake and rake over it. It’s done and forgiven. You should now focus on growing from it and making full amends with her.
For now after work, do something special or fun. It’s been a heavy week. Release those happy hormones and remind each other why you belong together ❤

I will always root for this relationship because I see how much you want to grow, how much you love her and I see that she is an amazing woman who isn’t willing to give up on you. So don’t you dare give up on her. What you have is rare. Most people discard each other even when being together for years because there is never any solid commitment to keep working at the relationship and growing together in the first place.  X