Hey Tee,

no, I can’t do yoga, it can actually add to the problem, in my case. But I do other types of exercises.

Hmm I see. Have you a found new doctor?

Great, keep it up!

But lately I feel like not doing anything, hopeless and I’m missing my cat too!

Oh she said it’s only your fault? Well, that’s not true really, because talking about reconciliation with her ex is a pretty big problem and it would be for any relationship…

I know right?

So she isn’t going back to her ex? She wanted to return to you but you said No – is that how it happened?

Yes. After getting back from the trip she said she thought about it a lot and she don’t think getting back together with her ex is a good idea. She did open up with me and told me maybe that idea of being alone is just scary for her and she’s just not used to it. And we talked about how I handled to live all by myself for years…

After that she was like yeah I can try for sometime without being in a relationship.

So did I just spread my disease into her? 😂

Yep, it’s rather notorious… and it affects every part of your life. So yeah, more inner child work, self-love and all that..

For sure!

Yes, it is irritating. But you can’t really change them, so you need to learn to live with it, but not allow abuse, of course. You can tolerate it once in a while when you come to visit, but don’t allow to stick to you. Try to be like teflon – things just slide from it and don’t stick

Haha that’s a good example. I’ll try that more since they already see me as a laid back guy it lol

 

You see? You too realize that self-esteem is key for not being too bothered with such comments. So you can do it too, work on loving and valuing yourself even more…

Yes that’s right!

I hope all three of you will learn how to be less sensitive and more self-confident. Good that your sister too realizes that your father and grandfather won’t change much. That means you shouldn’t even try. However, you can set boundaries and not allow verbal or emotional abuse. In fact, it’s kind of a two-pronged action: you work on yourself to become less triggered, but you also set boundaries so they can’t just mistreat you without consequences.

You’re right how can I make myself become less triggered? I mean there is boundaries there somewhat. My father doesn’t disrespect me anymore otherwise he knows I’m not going to just listen to him silently.

Okay, so that would be binge eating then. Do you have days when you eat way too much and sort of cannot control yourself?

Hmm yeah but not too often. But just today I did that. Maybe the times when I feel like not doing anything else I’d just eat.

Yeah, I am also not a breakfast person because I eat relatively late in the evening (I know, not a good strategy). So I am not hungry in the morning. But just the fact that you only have two proper meals isn’t in itself disordered eating. It’s maybe that you overeat in the evening, and you feel guilty about it? So then you starve yourself the next day, but then eat too much in the evening again? I was like that for a while, that’s why I am asking.

My mum wouldn’t allow me to eat that much late lol because her first question on the phone is always, did you ate? And yeah usually I do eat a lot in the evenings. During the day it’s okay but at evening I always eat a lot.

I did talked to my doctor friend and she suggested me to have small but 4-5 meals per day for healthy weight gain but I think that’s hard to manage for me

Do you mean you’d like to get praise/affirmation from people that you look good? But you said sometimes in the beginning of your posting on tinybuddha that you do get compliments for your looks, which you sort of shrug off. If I understood well?

Yes you remembered it well, I’m confused about it, because I don’t like when I need external validation, but external validation does kind of helps to believe in things…faster? I don’t know.