Hey Beni,

Sound’s like a not boring at all and very challenging situation your in.

Haha, not boring at all! I wish my life were boring and I were free from all of these “surprises”…

It’s so crazy when many thing’s hit at once. I wish that you can be loose of your struggle soon and feel healthy. It feels light to read that you get a little hold on things and being able to have some control.

Thank you, Beni. I hope too that the struggle will lessen. And yeah, I know how to calm myself down a bit, so I am not freaking out that much.

I got inspired by Peter Levine (and Vipassana) it’s worth to check him out if you’re not knowing him yet.

Yes, I am familiar with Peter Levine’s work. Pretty amazing stuff. I’ve recently discovered one of his students, who is now a teacher herself: Irene Lyon. She has a youtube channel with many great videos on the nervous system, chronic pain and the body. You might want to check her out too.

She too was a heavy-duty skier in her youth, and a fitness trainer. She had some injuries which she managed to heal with the Feldenkreis method. Later she started working with Peter Levine and developed her own trainings… Anyway, I’ve learned a lot from her.

I have been observing that when I’m in touch and I fall on a Skateboard it does not hurt it’s kind of a sweet pain. As soon as there is a slight pressure (my mind wants to take control). I get more stiff it hurts and I feel I can get injured. I belief if I’m patient to wait for risky things to do with confidence, trust and flow chances high I don’t get injured.

Okay, we are in slightly different situations, because I am pretty risk averse and would be afraid to get into sports where one can fall a lot 🙂 But if that’s your forte, and you want to master somewhat riskier sports, cool. But do be careful and yes, be patient till you are ready to do riskier moves.

I’m not what is making my condition worse always the last 4 times I observed when I’m in pain there’s also guilt or abandonment around and not only as science say’s wrong movement.

You mean you feel guilty for bringing yourself into a risky situation? And feeling abandoned by good fortune/universe when you do fall and injure yourself?

I might just feel this way because I belief it’s not good for me.

Just trying to understand here: a part of you believes that doing those risky moves is not good for you?

Placebo is a deal and I’m scared but also it feels right to not take science too serious cause of the effect it has on my bodymind. It’s like it’s right for the thinking but wrong for the heart.

Hm.. not sure what you mean here? Are you saying that you injure yourself because a part of you believes that risky moves/extreme sports aren’t good for you? That this thinking serves like a “placebo”, which makes you more prone to mistakes while skiing/skating?

Sorry if I misunderstood you… It’s an interesting topic by all means and I’d like to understand more of your dilemma.