Hey Beni,

Jap, I felt disconnected. I have day’s or times where I retreat into myself and I struggle to reach out. It feels like a stone on my heart, it’s harder to give love and share/show myself and also I got and still am sick :-/

That’s okay if you don’t respond when you don’t feel like it. No pressure. I am sorry you got sick – is it something like the flu?

I am again worse with regard to my back – it started hurting for apparent reason, without any wrong move, so I am perplexed. Not really panicking like last year, but it’s not a good feeling to go through it again, because I thought I’ve reached a certain state, where I was more resilient and more stable. But apparently not :\

Are you saying that you wanna reach this goal cause it expresses values you want to see in the world?

Well, it would be a positive contribution for the world, on a small scale of course, within my sphere of influence.

I think that’s why it’s helpful to differentiate needs from the strategies to meet the need. I wanna pray for the need.

You want to pray to know what you need to do? Like, you don’t know what your contribution (to the world) should be, and you want to pray for clarity on that? Sorry if I misunderstood you…

I wanted to reply here and my mind was like now, now, now you have to do it. It can be painful to not do things. I feel helpless. It’s hard for me to let people wait.

Ah, it sounds like you believe people have expectations on you, they want you to do something, and you feel pressured by it, and you don’t like it. (BTW there are no expectations from my side, so as far as I am concerned, please don’t feel pressured to reply).

Anyhow I figured if I really wanna do it I will do it. I’ll do it without effort but I have to wait for it. Often I can’t do it any other way it’s just too painful.

Okay, so you feel comfortable doing things at your own pace, in your own time, when you feel like it, not when someone tells you to do it, right? Is it related to your family and the expectations they have from you? Or other people’s expectations as well?

BTW thanks for the lyrics. I see the entire booklet is called “Mantras for Miracles” – that’s nice, I’ll check it out.