Dear anita,

The inconsistencies occur because the lifestyle I grew up in is more complex than the lifestyle that you guys grew up knowing. I grew up in a village with farmers and traditions and religious devotions and family politics. I am trying my best to simplify the issues that I experience for the readers to understand better, but there are a lot of underlying factors that affect the situation which would be too complex for me to explain cause it is something you experience, not something you just know. I am able to argue back against the advice given because I have already considered the different outcomes before asking the questions, and I expected solutions that I have not already thought of but I keep getting answers that I am already aware of. I know that my parents are cancerous to me, but I have already mentally and emotionally cut myself off of them, but do not disrespect them because I am wise enough to realize that though their methods are just horrible, their intentions were still good. Listing out all of the specifics leading to this realization is too complicated to just write down, you have to experience it to actually understand it. In the same way, a lot of other things that you and the others have stated have already been considered, but there is always an underlying obstacle because due to a lifestyle difference, certain obstacles are harder to get over. It is like the different species of sharks around the world. They may all be sharks but you cannot treat every shark the same way, as there are differences in behavior and etc. A Nurse shark would not be as aggressive as a great white shark.

I know what Godwin-the-child wants. He wants compassion, friends, to be cared for by someone. He wants to make music, play the piano, build machines, play videogames, watch animes etc. I have just decided to shut him up for now so I can focus on med and then give him some freedom after med so he doesn’t affect my chances in becoming a doctor.

I appreciate the advice you have given anita, but life is way more complex for certain people due to underlying factors that affect every decision. The factors that affected you will not be the same factors that affect me, and therefore the solutions you suggest won’t work in certain situations. I make my decisions by considering all these factors first. That is why I came here because despite knowing that what B did was wrong and she does not deserve forgiveness from me, I have to consider all the factors that helped create her situation and also think about what I would do in her situation while also considering B’s past which would have had some form of influence in her poor decision making as well as her emotions then. A lot of people make rash stupid decisions that make you wonder how in the world they were stupid enough to do certain things but you do not know what that person experienced in that moment, the thoughts that they underwent in that one simple moment, unless you actually experience it yourself. The complexity of the situation made me want a third person’s perspective before I made my decision. In fact you might need her side of the story too because my perspective of things may cloud your judgement cause you can only see the situation from my point of view.

I apologize if I sound like a stubborn brat to you.

Paradoxy