Dear Arden:

“I hope you are well“- thank you. Unfortunately sick with Covid at this time.

“10 months in long distance, I think we’re dealing with it well… All in all, we’re doing out best, separately, sometimes I am encouraging him and sometimes he does that to me. I never hold in when I feel like crying, I feel like if I hide something, that would harm me a lot. So just letting myself flow, of course not with everyone, just with him and on my own.“- reads like you are dealing with the long-distance well, and that it’s a good relationship (now a marriage)!

“I am also trying to find new solutions, freelance gigs… I have been feeling how far I’ve come, honestly. I can see how my mind is changing, and how fast I am growing… Building a life is not easy“- indeed, you’ve grown so much since we first communicated on June 7, 2019. You are strong, resourceful, resilient and quite amazing!

“a friend that has been giving me some mixed signals within the texts, confuses me. She asked me months and months back, ‘What is holding you there? Why not quit?..’… all I need was positivity. Not someone that would tell me all the negative stuff… I wouldn’t want that from a friend…. she blamed me for being touchy…  It’s like she is ignoring or even not looking at what I express, in a positive way…. stuff like that, I catch myself not seeing things clearly here, so it’s been making my mind busy on some level.“- you referred to her as a friend. Seems to me that she is not a friend but an acquaintance. Maybe she is friendly acquaintance at times (?), but otherwise, she seems to be someone who brings you down. That’s a shame.

What you need is encouragement, not discouragement; positivity, not negativity; clarity, not confusion; someone to focus on your positives, not someone who ignores you or blames you! I wish you limited contact with her, or better perhaps,  put it on hold altogether..?

anita