Posts tagged with “forgiveness”
How to Let Go of the Past and Forgive
“Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a child, I faced constant physical and mental abuse.
Several classmates would beat me up in the schoolyard, hitting and kicking me. They also chased me down the streets to my home when school was done for the day. I had to cycle at my fastest to avoid another beating. It felt like I had to go through a war zone every day.
Besides the physical abuse, these children also constantly criticized and ridiculed every single thing I did. This made me feel …
We Cannot Conquer Hate with More Hate (Only with Love)
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
I suspect that most people are victims of hate. Wars happen because of hate. Your mental, emotional, and even physical balance is lost because of hate. Hate destroys joy and happiness.
Think about the last time you felt intense emotions of hate—for another person, for a group of people, or even for yourself. Just thinking about it will make you feel not so nice. Now, as you think about those feelings of hate, simply observe yourself.…
I Forgive Forcefully (An Act That Takes Great Strength)
“You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone you have forgiven.” ~Unknown
“Forgive” and “forcefully” are not two words I have ever joined together before.
My idea of forgiveness involved kind and gentle meekness.
Goodness.
Altruism.
Compassion.
But never forcefulness.
Well, not until I waded through the choppy waters of forgiveness after I had the courage to leave my abusive marriage.
Forgive is a Verb
Forgiving isn’t an emotion. It’s an action. It’s a process that has no time limitation or expiration date.
It can’t be ordered, demanded, or rushed.
When I first discovered that my husband had been …
My Husband Left Me for Another Woman: How Forgiveness Set Me Free
“Allow yourself to be proud of yourself and all the progress you’ve made. Especially the progress no one else can see.” ~Unknown
I watched my then-four-month-old daughter wiggle around on the floor on her belly, arms flailed out to the side in her pink-footed pajamas, giggling hysterically. Her brother, four years old at the time, was launching himself from our king size bed onto a pile of pillows next to her, over and over. He’d land with a thud and a loud “oof,” cracking himself up,and she would break out in hysterics right with him.
I
Trapped in Shame: How I Found Mental Freedom After Prison
“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown
I was in two prisons.
One physical. One mental.
The physical version was Otisville Federal Prison.
I was living so out of alignment with who I was and who I wanted to become and self-sabotaged in a colossal way, defrauding one of the largest tech companies in the world.
My mental prison, my personal hell, was the all-consuming …
How I Freed Myself from Anger by Owning it Instead of Blaming Others
“The opposite of anger is not calmness. It’s empathy.” ~Mehmet Oz
In December last year, I went to India to study yoga and meditation. About a week into my training, I noticed I was becoming increasingly angry.
I thought that coming to this peaceful and supportive place would be all about gentle healing while perfecting my yoga practice. Instead, I was furious, very negative, and frustrated with everything.
Eventually, I talked to my teachers and shared what I was going through since I was becoming worried. They explained that since the training was intense and we were doing lots of …
Why Forgiveness Is the Ultimate Act of Self-Love and 3 Lessons That Might Help
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson
When you hear the word “forgiveness,” what do you feel?
Forgiveness used to make me feel uncomfortable. I would physically contract when I thought about forgiving someone who hurt me. I felt like forgiving meant letting them off the hook while I was the one paying for their hurtful words and actions.
I would play a scene in my head about what it would look like for someone to apologize and admit to their wrongs… and only then would I be ready and …
How I Forgave Myself for Cheating and Hurting Someone I Once Loved
“The best apology is simply admitting your mistake. The worst apology is dressing up your mistake with rationalizations to make it look like you were not really wrong, but just misunderstood.” ~Dodinsky
It was January 2016 and Baltimore was in the midst of a blizzard. Outside, the city was covered in a three-foot blanket of snow. Inside, we were having a blizzard party. My boyfriend, five friends, and me.
We’d been coloring, listening to music, dancing, and playing games. Already, I knew it was one of the most cozy and fun nights of my life. Everyone was happy. The energy …
How I’ve Stopped Letting My Unhealed Parents Define My Worth
“Detachment is not about refusing to feel or not caring or turning away from those you love. Detachment is profoundly honest, grounded firmly in the truth of what is.” ~Sharon Salzberg
A few months ago, my father informed me that he’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Although he seemed optimistic about the treatment, I knew that hearing such news was not easy.
After a few weeks, I followed up with him. He ignored my message and went silent for a couple of months. Although his slight ghosting was common, it made me feel ignored and dismissed.
In the meantime, I …
How I Found Forgiveness and Compassion When I Felt Hurt and Betrayed
“I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.” ~Haruki Murakami
I’ve always felt like someone on the outside. Despite having these feelings I’ve been relatively successful at playing the game of life, and have survived through school, university, and the workplace—although, at times, working so hard to ’survive’ has impacted my emotional well-being.
I have been lucky enough to have healthy and supportive relationships with a few loved ones who have accepted me as I am (quirks and all). To anyone else I’ve come across, I suspect I’ve been perceived as inexplicably normal and inoffensive.
Like many …
We Are Both Darkness and Light: How to Reconcile Them and Grow
“We have to bear our own toxicity. Only by facing our own shadows can we eventually become more light. Yes, you are kind. But you’re also cruel. You are thoughtful. But you’re also selfish. You are both light and shadow. I want authenticity. I want real. I claim both my light and my shadow.” ~Kerry Mangis
Many of us can recall the painful moments that have shaped us. As we grow older, we become intimately aware of all the ways we were hurt, wronged, or betrayed. I think it’s a natural impulse, to number these moments …
Two Things Not to Do After a Traumatic Event (Lessons from Being Robbed)
“True emotional healing happens by feeling. The only way out is through.” ~Jessica Moore
Have you ever loved someone so much that you could no longer see who they really were? Or have you ever been young and naive to the danger that surrounds you?
I’m the first to raise my hand and say I did that! I’m a person who trusts people until they give me a reason not to.
Trust
Trust can be broken in so many ways by those you least expect it from; those you love and thought loved you. In some cases, it may not …
The Secret to Letting Go (And Why It’s Okay if You Can’t Right Now)
“It’s not a matter of letting go—you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say ‘Let it be.'” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
When I was in my twenties, I went to see an acupuncturist because I’d been through a bad breakup and felt uncertain about my life path and purpose. “Went” is a kind way of saying it; I was dragged. I didn’t want to go, but my family was going and thought it might be supportive with all that I was going through.
I was dealing with a lot of rough emotions and felt like I …
How I Learned the Power of Letting Go After My Father Developed Dementia
“There is beauty in everything, even in silence and darkness.” ~Helen Keller
When I was eleven years old, I would force myself to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning.
I was severely anorexic at a time when eating disorders were considered an “inconvenience” you brought on yourself. Anorexia was dismissed as a rich, white girl’s disease (although we were certainly not rich)—a disease that was easily curable with a prescription for a chocolate cake.
Although my emaciated body was a dead giveaway of my condition, it was school that noticed the change in me first. My once …
Stop Waiting for Perfection and Fall in Love with Your Life Now
I know, so cliché, right? I can practically hear your eyes roll. But hear me out.
In a society driven by results, achievements, and ideals of perfection, there is a huge pitfall that I am becoming increasingly aware of—that we can be so focused on trying to achieve our “best life” that life itself could pass us by and we would have missed it. Missed the beauty of just being here.
We’ve all heard the sayings “Slow down and smell the roses” and “Life is a journey, not a destination.” We hear these sayings and pass them off as embroidery …
Everything I’m So, So Sorry About (and Why I Think Apologies Are Hard)
“There’s the way that light shows in darkness, and it is extremely beautiful. And I think it essentializes the experience of being human, to see light in darkness.” ~Emil Ferris
I was leading a yoga training in a small village in Greece near the Aegean Sea. One of the trainees was practicing a mindfulness workshop she designed. She led us through a guided meditation based on a beautiful Hawaiian practice for reconciliation and forgiveness called Ho’oponopono. As we sat in the yoga space, she repeated over and over:
I love you.
Please forgive me.
I’m sorry.
Thank you.
There was …
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