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Posts tagged with “helping”

I’m Kelly and I’m a Heroine Addict: Why I Get My Fix from Fixing People

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“Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself.”―Robin Norwood, Author of Women Who Love Too Much

My drug of choice is not the kind of heroin one shoots in their veins. My drug is the kind of heroine that ends with an e—the feminine version of hero.

When I help someone, and they are grateful for the gifts I offer, my brain fizzes with a cocktail of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, resulting in a “helper’s high” I ride …

It’s Amazing How a Little Kindness Can Open Someone’s Heart

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“We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.” ~Ray Bradbury

I have a weekly ritual of stopping by a small Vietnamese market close to our home. Thursday is delivery day for Lady Finger bananas, which are sweet little bananas from Mexico.

When I first frequented the shop, the small, dark-haired owner behind the counter would comment rather sternly, “Only bananas, that it!” …

How to Live Your Dharma (True Purpose): The Path to Soul-Level Fulfillment

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“Dharma actually means the life you should be living—in other words, an ideal life awaits you if you are aligned with your Dharma. What is the ideal life? It consists of living as your true self.” ~Deepak Chopra

From the moment I finished high school until my late twenties, I had “purpose anxiety.”

I wasn’t just confused and missing a sense of direction in life; my lack of purpose also made me feel inadequate, uninteresting, and lesser than other people.

I secretly envied those who had cool hobbies, worked jobs they loved, and talked passionately about topics I often didn’t …

The Joy of Unexpected Kindness and 3 Reasons It’s Hard to Be Kind

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“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.” ~Howard Zinn 

Have you ever experienced an unexpected act of kindness that completely changed your day?

I have, and I sincerely hope you have too.

Please pause for a moment and try to remember the last time that happened. How were you feeling before? What happened? And how did the act of kindness impact you?

If I look back on my own life, I can find countless moments where the suddenness, the unexpectedness of an act of kindness, shook me awake.

It might sound strange, but this …

How to Reclaim Your Joy After the Pandemic: 3 Things That Helped Me

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DISCLAIMER: Though vaccines have allowed many of us to return to more normal activities, the pandemic isn’t over, and it’s still crucial that we all follow the evolving CDC guidelines to keep both ourselves and others safe.

“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.” ~Sharon Draper

It was a rainy, late Sunday afternoon. The sun was already going down, and it was getting dark outside.

“How are you?”

“Oh, good. Nothing special. It’s quiet,” my …

A Guide to Saying No Without Guilt: 7 Steps for People-Pleasers

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“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” ~Unknown

Why is it so hard to say no? The uncomfortable buildup of emotion I felt while contemplating dropping the ‘n’ word used to have me rushing around town, home, and work for the people I loved in a heartbeat.

I remember one day I was on the cusp of complete overwhelm with the responsibility of being a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, and business owner. Hanging up the phone with a potential new client who was keen to work with me, I was wired. I …

All It Takes Is One Person to Start a Chain Reaction of Caring and Kindness

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“People will never know how far a little kindness can go. You just may start a chain reaction.” ~Rachel Joy Scott

One afternoon a while back, after stepping onboard to a full train car with no available seats, I situated myself in the standing section.

A couple of stops later, two passengers vacated their seats, allowing me the chance to sit. I embraced the opportunity to people-watch. The woman in front of me began chapter four of her book, titled How to Jump for Your Life. The girl next to her alternated between the Tinder app and …

Want to Help Someone Through Depression? Here Are a Few Things to Try

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“There were two classes of charitable people: one, the people who did a little and made a great deal of noise; the other, the people who did a great deal and made no noise at all.” ~Charles Dickens

“It’ll be okay, just…”

If I could have taken that expression and thrown it at each person who said it to me when I was struggling with depression, it would have felt much better than hearing it each time.

Here are a few ways people ended that sentence:

“Try not to think about it.”

“Cheer up.”

“Get some exercise.“

“See someone …

Addicted to Helping: Why We Need to Stop Trying to Fix People

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

After college, I was hustling hard to get a work visa so that I could stay in the US.

But then my mom got caught up in a political scandal, and without much reflection on how much this would alter my life’s plans, I dropped my dream of staying in America, drove 1,000 miles, and flew another 500 to be by her side.

Would she have crumbled without me there? My mama is a tough chick, so I highly doubt it.

But …

Helping a Person

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Why We Should Stop Trying to “Fix” Other People’s Pain

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“There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through: understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or person, transform them, transmute them, or even ‘heal’ them.” ~Matt Licata

A few years ago, when I first started working for my current organization, one of my colleagues asked me what role I would most enjoy on the team.

I quickly said, “I like making things happen.”

That was so clear to me—I’m a natural do-er, organizer, and planner. It’s easy for me …

Never Look Down on Someone Unless…

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Source: Collective Evolution

The Simple, Free, and Foolproof Way to Become a Happier Person

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“For it is in giving that we receive.” ~St. Francis of Assisi

If there were a magic pill that led to a 22% lower mortality rate and higher levels of self-esteem and happiness, would you try it?

I’m betting you would.

Well I’m here to share some good news: there’s no need for pills or money or magic. In fact, the solution is both free and easy. It’s called volunteering, and it’s proven to make you happier and healthier. All it requires is an open mind, full heart, and a few hours of your time.

Wondering why giving …

Why Walking Away Is Sometimes the Most Compassionate Choice

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

In May 2012, I was appointed guardian and conservator of my father, and my brother was appointed co-guardian. Our father was declared mentally incompetent by the county court.

My father was, and is, an alcoholic. When I was growing up, he was an abusive alcoholic. He gave out wounds like gifts. He used words to cut us open, and then he threatened us with salt.

I lived in hypervigilance, and I learned that being alone, quiet, and invisible was the safest state …

Three Guys Pay for People at Drive-Thrus

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They say the little things are the big things, and as a fan of all things tiny, I have to agree. Check out what happens when the guys at Give Back Films pay it forward, fast-food style.

The Last Pick: A Video About Helping Others

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This is for anyone who thought they weren’t good enough and maybe never would be. For anyone who considered giving up before they even started. For anyone who ever needed someone to believe in them and show it.

But most importantly, it’s for anyone who can make a difference by helping someone else–which means this is for everyone.

Written and produced by the Jubilee Project, this short film supports the Jeremy Lin Foundation, which provides kids with hope, empowerment, and leadership development. Learn more at jeremylinfoundation.org.

Create Meaning By Helping Others (Without Doing it for Validation)

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“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.” ~Buddha

Why are you here on this earth? What is your purpose? What are you supposed to be doing with your life? These deep questions burn in all of us. Our souls’ desire is to lead fulfilling lives that have meaning.

My life’s journey has always been linked to helping other people; I just never saw it as serving them. As I have grown to know myself, I have discovered that I have this huge heart that wants the best for myself and for others. …