Posts tagged with “Love”
How to Break Painful Relationship Patterns
“Until you heal your past, your life patterns and relationships will continue to be the same; it’s just the faces that change.” ~Unknown
First of all: honey, you are not broken. We are all works in process. There is nothing inherently wrong with you. We all end up in a loop here and there. Sometimes it’s because we haven’t healed pain from the past. And sometimes it’s because we’ve healed our pain but still hold on to past habits. When we do this, past habits will promote the replaying of past events and, therefore, the pain will return.
This …
How to Stop Punishing Yourself for Your Breakup
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ~Pema Chodron
After you come out a meaningful relationship that you didn’t foresee ending, you begin to think about everything you did wrong.
If you were not the one who wanted to the breakup, you may spend a lot of time blaming yourself and wondering about what you could have done differently.
You might begin to believe you’re solely responsible for what went down and that you deserve to spend years in relationship purgatory by yourself, mourning the loss of the person you loved.
You …
When You Can’t Take Away Their Pain: Just Being There Is Enough
“Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all else feels hopeless.” ~Dave G. Llewellyn
Parents, if I were to ask you what your worst nightmare is, what would you say?
I daresay it probably falls somewhere under the category of “safety and health,” and the negative version thereof.
Death. Illness. Suffering.
It could largely summed up as “to watch or know my child is suffering,” an extension of that being “… and to not be able to do anything to help or take it away.”
If you’re not a parent, I’m guessing you’re felt this same …
How Casual Dating Opened My Heart to Love
“Hopping from one relationship to another is not the way to find love. Slow down and give love a chance to find you.” ~Unknown
When I was younger, I was a serial monogamist.
I did the math recently and it turns out that once I started dating, I didn’t spend more than two weeks single at any point.
Then, after the end of my most serious relationship ever, I had a moment that changed everything.
My boyfriend and I hadn’t even been together a whole year, but I really thought he was the one, my soul mate. We had so …
How to Accept That It’s Time to Break Up
“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe
I knew it was over and yet I stayed.
In my eyes, my relationship had run its course. I was fed up, tired, and emotionally drained, but I couldn’t get myself to pull the trigger. I didn’t know how to go through with it.
Because this was my first serious relationship, everything was new to me, including breaking up. He was my first love. We lived together, built a life together, and now I was throwing a wrench into all of our bright plans for the …
Knowing When to Let Go of Relationships: 3 Signs It’s Time to Move On
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ~Deborah Reber
Thanks to the Internet, our lives are full of people. We’re connected literally all the time.
And yet, despite our ceaseless connection, we feel disconnected.
As the pace of life becomes ever more frenetic, we’re like charged atoms, bumping into each other more and more, pinballs in the machine. We come into contact (and conflict), but we don’t commune so much.
As real relationships of depth and quality become harder-won in this busy …
Love Them Today, Before Their Tomorrow’s Taken Away
“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Last year, my grandfather passed away.
He had gone to the hospital many times before. Sometimes he went for a minor sickness, sometimes for a severe condition. Unfortunately, the last time he went, we found out that he didn’t have much time left. He was diagnosed with last stage bladder cancer.
It was a shock to our family. My grandfather had always been a survivor. He’d survived the war, the darkest moment of the country. We couldn’t imagine he would lose his life …
It’s Not All Love and Light: Why We Can’t Ignore the Dark and Just “Be Positive”
“The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.” ~Joseph Campbell
If you frequent Instagram or any other social media platform these days, you may notice countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green juice. And gluten-free everything.
Most of us equate these messages with spirituality and good vibes. I won’t disagree. These messages do promote good vibes. But, the problem is these posts don’t tell the whole story, and once we log off, many of us still feel incomplete, fearful, and insecure because all of these “influencers” and gurus seem to have it all figured out.
I’m …
9 Lessons from my 9-Month-Old Nephew, Who’s Taught Me How to Live
“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” ~William Arthur Ward
Oliver.
Ahh, my heart skips a beat at just the sound of his name.
In 2018, a tiny human being arrived on the planet, one who would change my life. In the short nine months my nephew Oliver has been in my life, I’ve learned a lot. I’m not talking about changing nappies and bottle-feeding, although I’m getting to grips with these essentials too. No, Oliver has taught me valuable lessons about life itself. Here are nine of the biggest.
1.
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How to Avoid Petty Fights and Get What You Need in Your Relationship
“It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.” ~Amy Poehler
It was yet another stupid argument that escalated from nothing to a hundred miles an hour in seconds. I’d been there so many times before, entrenched in warfare with us both preparing our defenses and priming our attacks.
The intense emotions of the moment always took over, denying me the opportunity that hindsight would later afford me. Huge issues were, upon reflection, only minor disagreements about who had said what about the cooking, or where something had been left in the bathroom.
On this occasion, once …
Overcoming Intergenerational Trauma: We Can Break the Cycle of Abuse
“Our ancestors knew that healing comes in cycles and circles. One generation carries the pain so that the next can live and heal. One cannot live without the other, each is the other’s hope, meaning and strength.” ~Gemma B. Benton
I thought I had no value, my opinion meaningless. My sense of self was decimated. Finally, I got angry and attacked.
“You can’t imagine the pain you’ve put me through!” I yelled. “You don’t even know who I am. You can’t see it. You’re refusing to take responsibility for the way you raised me! Not thinking is not an excuse! …
How I Learned to Like and Trust Myself When It Was Hard
“Loving yourself starts with liking yourself, which starts with respecting yourself, which starts with thinking of yourself in positive ways.” ~Jerry Corsten
Useless. Hopeless. Broken.
This was how I saw myself.
I didn’t completely loathe myself, but I didn’t like myself either. At best, I tolerated myself.
I felt I had good reasons to.
I’d gotten myself into, as we say in England, a right old pickle.
If you’re not familiar with this charming expression, I had gotten myself into a big mess.
In my early twenties, over a painful period of about eighteen months, I’d gradually buried myself …
We Have to Own Our Part to Heal Our Broken Heart and Find a Deeper Love
“True love does not only encompass the things that make you feel good, it also holds you to a standard of accountability.” ~Monica Johnson
I remember the confusion I felt as it slowly began to register to me that he had indeed read all of my messages and was indeed ignoring me. Even though my eyes were telling me this, it still didn’t make any sense.
Just the day before, he’d initiated contact, called me beautiful, and wanted to know the details of my day. We’d talked all day that day, as we normally did. But this was a new …
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