Posts tagged with “wisdom”
When “Better” Becomes a Trap: How I Learned to Hope Without Clinging
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For most of my life, hoping for something better wasn’t a problem. It was my fuel.
If everything had lined up the way I once imagined, it would have looked something like this: steady financial security, meaningful creative work recognized by the world, a sense of arrival—finally—after decades of effort. I would be teaching or creating without scrambling, my work fully valued, my future predictable enough to relax into.
That picture lived quietly in the background of my days. I didn’t obsess …
What It Cost Me to Always Be the Easy One
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho
I grew up as the first-born daughter—the responsible one, the helper, the one who didn’t want to cause trouble. I learned early how to be “good.” Good meant quiet. Good meant easy. Good meant not needing much.
What I didn’t realize then was that I was learning how to abandon myself.
School was hard for me in ways I didn’t know how to explain. I struggled with reading. I struggled with focus. I struggled with keeping up—especially compared to my younger sister, …
How to Know When You’re Truly Ready to Forgive
“Forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s an evolution of the heart.” ~Sue Monk Kidd
Sometimes I hear the word “forgiveness” and I cringe.
I’ve been wrestling with this all year because I realized something really uncomfortable: When I look back at those moments where I felt betrayed, in most instances, I wasn’t a victim of other people’s bad behavior—I was a willing participant.
For years, I stayed in one-sided relationships and situations that asked me to shrink and conform to other people’s expectations. I gave everything and got crumbs (and this includes …
30 Reminders for Sensitive People Who Feel Drained, Ashamed, or Judged
“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.” ~Anthon St. Maarten
There are some words that get painfully etched into our memories as if with a red-hot poker. For me, growing up, those words were “you’re too sensitive.”
I often caught this phrase in the fumbling hands of my shame after someone chucked it at me with callousness and superiority as a means to justify their cruelty.
They may have said something vicious or condescending in private …
Why Protecting Your Energy Isn’t Selfish or Shameful
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Ian Maclaren
A friend recently told me a story about her mother that stayed with me.
They walk together some evenings around her mom’s apartment building—part exercise, part ritual. Her mom doesn’t enjoy small talk. When they pass people in the building, she usually keeps her eyes forward. There’s one woman in particular who always says, “How are you?” Years ago, her mom would respond. Now she doesn’t. She keeps walking.
My friend felt conflicted. Part of her understood. Another part felt uncomfortable. She said, “Sometimes saying ‘I’m fine’ …
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