Posts tagged with “wisdom”
How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho
People-pleasers regularly subvert their own needs for the needs of others. We spend years saying “yes” when we mean “no,” signing up for commitments we’d rather avoid, and occupying our minds with others’ desires.
When we finally clear out the clutter to put ourselves first, we look around at the empty space, bewildered, with endless questions. What do we want? What does true happiness look like for us? What would a life lived on our own terms be like?
For me, these questions once …
How to Get Past Doubt and Do What You Really Want to Do
“Doubt everything. Find your own light.” ~The Buddha
As far back as I can remember, I’ve allowed my life to be shaped by external forces.
On the outside, it appeared like I was just another carefree soul, living in the moment and going through life like a leaf on the wind. But on closer inspection, I was actually running away from having to make any real commitments and avoiding getting into a position where I had to make difficult or important decisions.
It wasn’t until recently, when I realized it was four years to the date since I’d fallen into …
One of Those Days? How to Deal When Everything Irritates You
“Be proactive not reactive, for an apparently insignificant issue ignored today can spawn tomorrow’s catastrophe.” ~Ken Poirot
Do you ever have one of those mornings where the battle against annoying minutiae begins before you’re even truly awake?
One of those days where you feel the illusion of control fully slipping away. You try to grasp and pull it back, but you really have no control over this day or its outcome, at all.
We dread these types of days, don’t we? The control freak in me gets uncomfortable thinking about it. Even the Meet The Parents movies make me …
The Key to Acceptance: Understand That Everything Changes With Time
“If you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” ~Byron Katie
I love this quote. Ironic, really, because when I first read it, I was furious—furious with my reality and anyone who encouraged me to accept it. In my mind, to accept chronic illness was to accept defeat.
I had just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, an incredibly painful condition that had me bedridden most days and unable to care for my then two-year-old daughter, never mind myself. My home became filled with carers and aides and adaptations.
Rather than starting a new career as a newly …
What Your “Negative” Emotions Are Trying to Tell You
“Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.” ~Billy Cox
It might sound like a senseless paradox to say that the “bad” or “dark” things about you are actually your “light” or “positive” qualities. However, this isn’t just a feel-good platitude; it’s literally true. The things we struggle with the most are our greatest sources of empowerment.
Because this process is not exactly front and center of modern mental health and wellness movements, committing to your own healing can seem daunting and hopeless. Few people have truly learned how …
How I Went From the Pain of People-Pleasing to the Freedom of Being Me
“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s own true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” ~June Ahern
Growing up I felt lost, separate, and different from everyone else in my family. After all, everyone else was a fit; they pursued the same hobbies, had the same aspirations, and even thought in the same way (everything was very black and white with hardly any grey areas). I was interested, it seemed, in everything they were not interested in.
I had a different way of looking at the world. Any task I was asked to …
Create More, Consume Less: How to Feel More Excited About Life
“Creating means living.” ~Dejan Stojanovic
We live in a consumer culture. We love to eat, drink, and be merry—while binge watching whatever’s trending on Netflix and getting a dopamine hit for every item added to our cart on Amazon Prime.
We love to take it all in—information, entertainment, status updates, news reports, substances, and an endless array of stuff. There’s never a shortage of things we can consume, often to keep our minds distracted and our feelings silenced.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love a good meal, a Jim Beam or two, and an afternoon spent zoned out on …
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